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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hey MsMinn,
I too have a problem with the Ultram. I quit them cold turkey(God, that saying just sounds brutal) and am now at the 3 day point/72 hrs *** ever. I find myself counting in hours now instead of days...go figure. The strange thing about it tho is that before the pills came along I drank beer ALOT. Every night after work I would have up to 6 and then on the weekend I would prolly kill a 12pak on Fri. and Sat. nites. Once I started the Tramadol (I have always know them as that but I guess its all the same), I found my desire for the beer subsided. If the Tram (shorter), did anything good for me at all it got me thru the withdrawals of the alchohol because I never noticed them at all. I have a very nasty tendency tho towards anything that can take me away from reality and make life easier to deal with.

I have a bad case of Degenerative Disc disease/syndrome whf ever and the pain had gotten so bad I told my doc that I needed something stronger than the anti-inflammatories they were giving me. I was like" ***? Are ya'll afraid to give me any real drugs? These things arent worth a f---." Well, I guess I should have been careful for what I wished for. Now I still have bad back pain but the only kicker is now I also have a pill problem and cant take them anymore. Now I am screwed. I have never been one to take lessons from others. Always had to screw up for myself to learn anything and this was no exception.

I dont have any advice for anyone here. I am here seeking advice. I just thought I would share my bs story for anyone interested. I will deal with the pain in my back before I will go back to those things. I cant control them. Its quite the other way around. I may have to have back surgery in the future so I cant label myself as a pillhead to the docs or I will be in agony following the surgery. I am just going to have to deal with what lies in the future when it comes and not worry about how I will react until the time comes. I will have to be CLOSELY supervised. The biggest problem I have had is that I live alone so I can do what I want when I want and that has enabled the hell out of the whole thing. I guess the just of the whole deal is that when you take them when you dont hurt, you are going to get a buzz and then it is all down hill from there. If I hadnt done that I wouldnt be here now. I hope this whole stream of bs is making some sense because I am just typing thoughts.

My withdrawals are pretty bad, mainly at night when its all quiet and there isnt anything going on. I never knew what it was like to want to crawl out of your own skin, but unfortunately I do now. Its the sickest thing. This past Friday night I took the last of the pills so Friday nights sleep was normal. Saturday night's was a whole nutha story. I wouldnt even call it sleep. The closest thing I can compare it to is like someone torturing you form out of sight. I took 4 melatonins and 3 somas( I dont have the good fortune of some valiums or bars laying around), and it seemed like it did NOTHING. Just the minute I would start to fall asleep, my whole body would just jump and I would get this aweful stinging in my hands and feet. Then I would be awake. I would be getting these hot flashes that would start in my midsection and wash over me, very nasty feeling as well. That would be the precursor to the violent outburts and the stinging and so forth. It was like something evil was just sitting there waiting for me to become perfectly still and almost get to sleep and just hook up the electrodes and let me f'in have it. This lasted all night up until about 4am when I finally slept until 730 am and was then wide awake and couldnt even begin to think about sleep.

I apologize for the latter. I just havent had anyone to talk to that could possibly understand what I have gone thru the past 3 days and I thought maybe here, someone could relate. I have some friends that have gotten off the regular opiates like vic's and such but they said they never experienced anything of that kind and actually didnt have that much problem in the sleep department. This must be something exclusive to the Tram. I dunno. But its nasty and I dont like it...:)

The good news is that I havent had a night like that since. Sunday night wasnt nearly that bad although I did still find it a probem getting to sleep. After the melatonin and the Somas didnt work, I hit the local CVS at 1230am and got some unisom and some nyquil. I think that may have done the trick because I remember a little bit of the same happening, but not anything like saturday night. I suppose I could get some xanni's or some valiums but ya know, I just dont want to go down that road. I am suffering a great deal and it might make it easier but what happens if I like the Valium? what happens if I like the Xanni's? I dont even want to go there. Its bad enough that I am having a couple of beers per day agian to calm my nerves down. I dont want to fall off that wagon again either tho.

Honestly, I am a mess right now people and in need of advice. Thanx for listening.................out





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