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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

i've read this topic longer than i can remember.All along i knew someday would be my(get clean) date.a quick background of me since i know most of you by your kind help for people and love.
i'm 53 yrs.chasing highs,withdrawing first percodan i was 11yrs. uncle
was a MD.most constant was darvon through the yrs on and off.5 or so yrs ago oxys top dose 160 morn 160 nite.tried detox 1 day . hubby called fam doc,he sent me to another pain DR.he put me on duragesic.i thought i knew withdraw.i still reeled with agony.oh honestly...pain not bad enough,but i know you understand pain or real pain.i decided 3yrs ago the patch had to go.i checked into a reg 4 day detox,lil did i know i wore the patch(S)in and really didn't detox till after i came home.i'm trying to keep it short.since then...on off percs, april they gave me vicodin for a fall(my back discks)had i been true to me,i'dbeen on advil in a month.they upped it to 10/ mg som. tylenol.
my dear husband of 28 yrs has once again had to become my pharmacist.we came home from vacation yesterday.i took the last couple to go out with a bang.same old:dizzy: well i feel sick iknow it gets worse then better.but i really could use some help this time,you see,i've sucked the soul out of the love of my life.the yrs hes delt.i have been so selfish to him.typing is hard my heart aches for him.i never saw what i'd done before.i never wan't to put him through this again i can't.
before i forget.don't know if i can call it sober with all the pills.but it's been 20
yrs since my last drink. if i can make any of it up now must be the time.your all good people as i've seen.thank you:angel: somwhere must be a real life for both of us i pray.

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