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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I have been addicted to percocet for 4 years. I take about 30 (10/325) pills per day. It started when my girlfriend at the time gave a vicoden, well that was the first time I ever took a pain killer I was 32 at the time. About the same time I also hurt my back (herniated disk) and the doctor was prescribing me percocet. My girlfriend was elated, but at the time I really didnt understand why but I quickly figured it out. Well after time my girlfriend became my wife and the doctors suddenly stopped prescribing my perks. So my wife and I turned to street to buy them. We set up a couple different contacts I was buying alot of perks. My wife's friend is a herion addict and told her about the suboxone and signed her up for the waiting list. Well my wife started the suboxone and signed me up for the waiting list. My wife took the sub for a few months, couldnt take the headaches and stopped taking them. She went through hell for energy, she couldnt even get out of bed. But she didnt have too luckily, I am the one sole provider. So then I was on the sub and It put me into a depresson and I went back to the Perks. My wife finally came through clean and was doing great, she was the one who told me to get off the sub and go back to the perks. Well after time she went back too, it was very sad for me to see that. Well now we are both taking the perks, plus my wife is taking water pills, valium, sleeping pills, and xanax. I am spending about $1,800.00 every four days. Its sinking my buisness, my wife and I are fighting everyday, and now she packs up and leaves me three weeks before Christmas. I lost my wife, I am loosing my buisness, and all I can think about is how many pills do I have left. I am at a crossroads. I have 10 perks left and alot of sub. I have valium and sleeping pills. I want to go back on the sub but I know its going to put into a depression and with my wife leaving me just before the holidays, I dont know how I will cope. I cry all the time, I cant think staight, my house is now empty and the silence is deafening. I want to go back on the sub and get my life together but I am scared too death. I could use some advise....

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