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Re: Over drinking
Jan 3, 2007
If you are blacking out, you have a drinking problem. It doesn't matter how often you drink. Normal drinkers do not black out. Their girlfriends don't complain about having to take care them because they are so drunk. Normal drinkers don't have make a drinking plan that they can try to stick to.

Alcoholism is a disease. And part of that disease is the denial that you are an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic in recovery and I know exactly how you feel. I also was not a daily drinker. I also blacked out sometimes. I also wanted to have fun with my friends. I also lost the man who i planned on spending the rest of my life with because i was so into "partying" and thought he was a fuddy dud. Big Mistake.

You are looking for an easier softer way to control your drinking rather than quitting all together. The easier softer way is to give up trying to control it and admit that you can't. Surrender to win. And then start attending AA meetings, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps. You will find that drinking is but a symptom of the disease of alcoholism. It's not your fault for being alcoholic. It is your fault if you don't reach out for help. I know when i stopped drinking, I thought what am i going to do with my time. I won't have fun anymore. It simply isn't true. You will get used to not drinking. You won't even want to drink and you won't think about drinking and you won't want to go to bars.

When alcoholics drink we set in motion the phenomenon of craving and obsession. We say things like "I am not going to drink" all day long and then we must have a drink by evening. And then when we have that drink, we want more. Maybe not every single time, but most of the time. Then we do stupid stuff like blacking out and saying dumb stuff and making our partners angry, waking up somewhere and not knowing how we got there and a multitude of other problem situations. Then we wake up feeling down on ourselves, embarrassed, baffled that it happened again, etc. Then we shave the sharp corners off the memory over a period of days, and then we drink again and the whole thing is repeated over and over until we hit bottom. Which by the way happens when we decide we can't control our drinking.

The big book of AA says that if you don't think you are an alcoholic, go ahead and try some controlled drinking. If you can't quit at 2 or 3 drinks then you are an alcoholic and you can decide when to hit your bottom. It happens when you stop digging.

The Big Book says on page 25 and i have paraphrased this so I am not breaking any posting rules, If you are as alcoholic as i am, there is no middle-of-the-road solution. I was in a place where my life was becoming impossible and I had reached a place where no person, doctor, psychologist, doctor, etc could help me and i had 2 choices: one was to continue on the path I was on blotting out the consciousness of my intolerable situation as best i could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This I did because I honestly wanted to and was willing to make the effort.

Going to AA was one of the best decisions I have ever made. And i know if I would have kept on drinking, I would have made a lot more mistakes. I was 28 when i got sober and i am now 45.

I hope you make the right decision; but ultimately, it's your life and your future and you are at a fork in the road that someday you will look back on and either regret that you kept on drinking or you will be happy that you quit.

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