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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Coping With Adult Children Who Have Addictions And Have Chosen To Continue With The Addiction Is Extremely Difficult For Me, A Mother. Any Suggestion Of How To Live With The Strong Possibililty That I Will Outlive My Children?
hello I am a mother of two sons with drug proublems, one in prison just sentances monday 8 years searve 3 but if he messes up he is looking at 40 years, thats scarey, that when he does come out he may go back to useing, and I will die while he is in prison, to the answer of your question, that is a hard thing to live with, I dont know if you belive in God but thats where your peace will come from, faith, Felicia
Yes, this is probably the hardest thing for you both to do, but you need to start a life without these kids anymore. There are ways to help you learn how to do this. One is Alanon. There will be a lot of God talking there. The other way is through your Church. Immerse yourselves in God and Church. And the last is through therapy.

I prefer Alanon, because it is cheapest and the first place to accomplish this. It was founded by the wife of Bill Wilson who founded AA.

They will teach you to [COLOR="Red"]"Detach with Love."[/COLOR]

Or the therapy route. I use therapy and it has helped me beyond my wildest dreams, but then I am a clean and sober son of my parents and have been for many many years.

I agree with DAN..Detach with love, I like that...Alnon is a wonderful organization. When my step father was having an alcohol problem , my mom went to that group and learned how to live with this man...I was also addicted, and my husband was addicted.I got clean, and I kicked him to the curb, he just wasnt ready yet , to get sober..I myself went to Alanon and its amazing what you can learn there, and it helps to get rid of some of the anger and resentment we can feel for these abusers. Dont wait any longer, you need to live your life now, which you earned, so please get the number and make the call, you WONT regret it.. Sincerely...IM A MESS
The only way for you to cope with your childs drug problem is for you to put the problem where it belongs, with the addict, not you. I have learnt to detach fron my son over many years. Only now am I able to accept him for who he is. Prior to that, there was alot of emotional grief for what I should have had from a son, but never will. Acceptance is a great healer. And in no way is their addiction your problem. Please try to remember that. They are making their own choices. YOu are in no way to blame.
hello, again, I tryed alanon here in my home town, and I didnt seem to fit in, I try to tell my self I had nothing to do with both my sons addiction, But I do no that the childhood was not the best with out me there, they have grandparents that give them anything thay wont, and that was a big proublem all there life, and they are still giving, I love my sons, but I have no clue or understanding who they are, My oldest use to tell me he could quit anytime he wonted, now in jail facing 3 years he says he cant, I cry for them, and I pray god will open there eyes, because I cant do anything, I have begged and pleaded, screamed, jump up and down, talked about death , nothing works, So yes I belive it is up to them , How sad to give brith to a child and watch them kill there self right before your eyes, And know there is nothing you can do
I would give it at least a dozen al anon or the equivalent (Adult children of alcoholics, coda, nar anon, etc.) meetings before calling it quits. Good luck.
Try going to different meetings. They all have different flavors.
Good luck. It took me awhile and recently I came across a group that I

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