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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

You are not alone! I started taking Vicodin (Lortab 10/500mg) a little over a year ago for chronic back pain related to 3 different accidents. At first they were great.......I was taking them as prescribed, 1 every 4-6 hours. They helped the pain and made me feel like I could do ANYTHING with no repercussions. Over time I needed to increase my dosage in order to dull the pain and for them to make me feel "good." I do not have an addictive personality.....I'm 42 (a young, 42) and over the years have tried almost everything (except heroin, X and a cople of others) and never became hooked. But the Lortabs were different. They are highly addictive, something my pain management specialist failed to mention to me. I was just happy to feel better and pain free and talk about energy!!!!! The problem with this drug is that you keep reaching plateaus and must take more or make the decision to stop, which is what I did 13 days ago. I had gotten to the point that I was taking 3 pills every 3 hours - could not get out of bed until I took my first 3 of the day (so the night before I always made sure to have my glass of water and my pills on my bedside table.) Heaven forbid I would have to drag myself out of bed and physically go take them!!! My life evolved around taking them. I had to make sure I had enough with me at all times so that I wouldn't start to feel the effects of withdrawals, something that I could feel within 4 hours of taking my last dose. At any rate........I decided to self-detox at home because I have no health insurance and the federally funded detox places, to me, seem like institutions. I went, I saw and I decided that, for myself, being at home was the best for me. (Although not for everyone). While I am super proud of myself, it has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life and I am not out of the woods yet. The first 2 days were horrifying!!! I could barely move, my whole body ached, I had cold sweats, couldn't sleep, no appetite......I was suicidal!!!!! If not for my daughters, I would not be here now. I am doing better at 13 days, but I am still having dizzy spells, trouble concentrating, body aches and most severe is that one minute I'm sweating and the next I'm burning up!!! I have isolated myself from my friends, which I know is common, but I have found that the friends that do know about this (which are not all of them) don't know how to handle it or what to say, so they also stay away. My 21 year old daughter who lives with me was terrified to come and check on me because she thought I would be dead. Through communication she is now being supportive and communicative. I know she was just scared and unsure how to handle the situation or what to say. (If you are reading this and know someone going through this - just ask them if they're okay and if there is anything that you can do - trust will be the most appreciated thing you can do!) I feel really alone, but I know I must, and will, get through this!!!! One day soon I will wake up and feel like myself again and I cannot wait. I have no desire to take those pills ever again! I take Aleve or Acetaminophine for the pain as well as using topical muscle creams and heating pads along with hot baths. I'm eating and keeping my fluid intake up and just doing a lot of positive self talk. Each day is a gift that I am happy to see, even if I feel like crap. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
What I want to say to you is, talk to someone.....whoever is a support system for you or go to a Narcotics Annonymous meeting. Try your best to stop taking the pills because eventually they do so much harm, physically, emotionally....just on every level. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you and although addiction is prevalent in your family - especially father to daughter (according to studies), do whatever you can to get off of them. The most important thing is to remember that you are not alone and you CAN stop if you really want to! I don't know if this has helped at all, but I feel good about sharing my experience - I wish I knew exactly how long it will be before I feel 100% myself again, but I'm on my way and that feels good! Hang in there and be strong!!!!!!!!! :angel:

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