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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

First of all I am 24 years old (April 15th). I'm about to start my rad tech classes in May. I have been waiting on this for 4 years now. And I need help before I ruin my career. I am addicted to Hydrocodone. Addiction runs very highly in my family. My father is a 25 year recovered heroin addict. Two years ago I had to have ACL reconstuction, was suppossed to be orthodcopic but it didnt turn out that way. Anyhow, I was prescribed Percocet for a while to help with the pain. I started to like the "BUZZ" I felt from them and noticed myself taking mor than the dosage required for the pain. After I stopped receiving prescriptins , I didn't take them too much, but found myself getting a few from friends that had gotten them off the street. NEXTPART -- I have been trying to get my teeth perfect before my insurance ran out on my 24th birthday(Was still on father's insurance). I have been going back to this "Quack" dentist for 1 1/2 years. Every time I went he would prescribe me Percs, Xodol, and for the last year Lortab. I'm not blaming it on the dentist but he has helped me form my addiction. If it wasn't that available to me I probably would not have taken that much. I always told my self I would not BUY off the street but for the past year between prescriptions I have. There has not been one day that has gone buy that i didn't take one pill. On a average I take 3-10mg lortabs a day if available. I am to the point hat I have to have one to get up in the morning for "MOTIVATION". I feel I need one to do things for example a meeting, shopping, or like my rad tech orientation next week I will need one or I will not feel like myself. When I take a pill I feel like I can do or say anything. WHen I do not have one I feel Lost, empty, angry, depressed, and all I want to do is get high!. I hate the person I have become. The mood swings-- I am so angry to my family, friends, mom, and my poor boyfriend. I hate the things I say to them and do not mean it. The pills have taken control. I know I have a problem and I know need to stop but I'm so scared and I dont know what to do. I really wanted to be off them before I started school. Please help I need advice. Thanks for whoever is listening I needed to get it off my chest!!
Jess - The clonazepam does not affect the endorphin receptors in the brain, that is why it is not addicting. What you are doing with the hydrocodone is "feeding" your brain a chemical that saturates your brains receptors for pleasure with substitute "endorphins". The reason that you/we feel the w/ds and the depression (not being happy, moody, unmotivated) is your brains natural ability to make the endorphins stops working altogether because it is getting them from the percocet/vicodan. Have you ever been a athlete? When we exercise our body starts to produce endorphins to compensate for the work of the exercise. That is whats called a "runners high". Just as you and i are addicted to hydrocodone, some people are "addicted" to running or some other physical activity that causes the body to boost the endorphin production.

So your taper program is excellent. Suppliment that with some kind of phisical activity. Get a sweat going. Honey quit while you are ahead. I was on 2 darvocet a day for 3 years and then 2 years ago i had a back injury and got vicodan. At my peak i was taking 10 - 15 of them a day. If you do not proactivley NOW start to and finally stop, they will esculate. You have a great future and I really do care and want to help you from my mistakes. Don't do what I did i regret this everyday of my life.
You should also pray if you can.

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