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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I was addicted to methadone for approximately a year and a half. See in my town, in my generation we dont drink. We get high. Thats just how it is around here (unfortunaly) and I used the methadone recreationally...just the weekends and not every weekend sometimes. Untill I began to get sick, so then I would take it more often just be well (normally every other day). Then I got on the suboxone and I really didn't know that much about it...just that it was better and I was on that for a little over 1 year. I never took more than 4mgs. Then towards the end I would take 2mgs and then the last 2 weeks I was taking 1mg untill I ran out. Once it was gone it was gone...I was done. I used to think it gave me the energy i needed to get through the day but now that im here i realize how wrong i was. I get intense migrains too they started when I was 20 and my doctor prescribes me imitrex (the pills and the nasal sprays) and it works wonderfully. I remember laying in bed crying with the lights off and no noise with my neck and jaw hurting and throwing up bc the migrains would be so intense. Maybe talk to your doctor about something like that. As far as suboxone withdrawal everyone says its not as bad. I dont know, i never really had to w/d off methadone I managed to keep myself well for the most part (I had a few bad days here and there when i didnt have anything). With sub detox the first day was fine, the second third fourth and fifth were the worst. My legs hurt my arms hurt and i couldnt sleep. But as bad as things were on those days i still got up, clean up a little and got my kids out of the house. I put a smile on my face and faked my way through the day (due to family being around bc they didnt know what was going on). With day 5 it wasnt so much the physical, it was the mental.....but after that it seemed like each day got a little bit better...but then i would have a day here and there where it seemed worse. I thought Id be sick for 3 or 4 days and then be back to normal...I was never prepared for what I went through. I have no cravings I dont want anything the thought of it makes me sick. See im a party girl, a people person, I like to go out and have fun and be with all of my friends and i dont drink. So im learning how to have fun without using, thats the only hard part. And right now the way im fixing it is by NOT going out and trying to make new friends. Dont get me wrong I dont crave the drug, I crave the life I had when I was on the drug. I miss getting all dressed up on a Saturday night and going out and dancing and all of that fun stuff. Now my idea of a great Saturday night is packin up the little ones going to my dads and renting movies. Its safer that way. Up untill last week i was real tired all of the time and felt like it took everything i had just to lift my hand up...but it pasted. What really really helped me was not only this AMAZING site but MUSIC. Any music, rap/hip-hop from back when i was in highschool, new songs, 80's rock music my dad used to listen to when i was little hahaha. Anything to take my mind off of it. My son and I (being the big dork that i am) would get up and dance around and sing at the top of our lungs. And it helped, it put a smile on my face. Here I am day 25 and damn proud of myself. I feel good and I thank god the worst is behinde me. It wasnt fun but it was so worth it. You wont feel the greatest at first but give it time and you will look back and you will think oh my gosh I cant believe the difference. I actually feel like a new person. I feel like god is giving me a second chance. You will feel wonderful when its all said and done and i know your scared but you have to keep telling yourself I CAN DO THIS! Be strong stay positive dont let your fears pull you away from doing what you know is best. Im telling you Imitrex really helps. I only have to take it when i feel one starting (which is long before the pain hits, because my eyes get blurry so i know ones coming). And then it never even starts. If for some reason im already in the middle of having one i use the nasal spray and within 5-10 minutes im ok. You will do great i know in my heart you will..its good to be a little scared after all this shouldnt be easy. Remember god is watching over you every step of the way. Whenever your ready to start your detox start a new thread and if you have to spend all day and all night it...thats why everyone is here. They are here to help and the will. Plus I want to see how you are doing bc i know what its like i was there not that long ago...This girl doddsgirl was only a few days ahead of me in her detox and she really helped me out. Good luck sweetie i know you can do it, if i can do it anyone can do it!!!!! God bless you :) PS sorry for talking so much.

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