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I'm back...
May 24, 2007
Hello all:

For those who weren't here last summer, my name is Paul and I was addicted to Percocet for a year and a half. Last August, I tapered off my meds in about 3 days, and stayed clean off opiates for 5 months. So many people here inspired and helped me through the ups and downs of recovery... I am forever grateful to everyone for their support.

Well, like many of us, I relapsed... it began with Valium (to help me sleep), and a couple of Tylenol 3's here and there.... before long, I popped a perc. At first, it wasn't every day, maybe a couple nights a week. Within a month, I was back up to about 10 percs a day. I did the very thing I told myself I would NEVER do - I went back to the meds.

A quick primer on me, I'm 31 years old, getting married in October (my fiancée has never known about my pill addiction - she just knows that I enjoy smoking pot). I have an amazing group of friends, and an even better family.

About 3 weeks ago, I decided (spontaneously) that the time to quit again was now, so I did. Again, a three day taper and I was off the percs. I am trying to also stay away from all benzos, because I don't want to switch one addiction for another. I take Omega 3 fish oils, and if I need to, 3mg melatonin to get to sleep.

Needless to say, I feel great about quiting the opiates - but here's the thing. About a month ago, I was in a fairly serious car accident. I hurt my back, and felt what seemed to be some internal trauma. I went to the hospital, and the doctor gave me anti-inflamatories, and said I was OK, but he didn't run any tests on me, internally. At the time, I was taking percs, so I couldn't accurately measure the pain I was having. Now, I am free of pain meds, but have been feeling like something is off with my right side. What's scary is I'm not sure if it's a) muscle problems, due to the accident, b) perhaps my liver cleansing itself of toxins, as I have been drinking tons of water, etc.... or c) liver damage from opiate abuse. I know I need to see a doctor, but I can't take any time off of work, so I can't do that right now. It's not necessarily pain, but it feels off. Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

Also, I would think that by now (over 20 days clean), that I would feel more energetic. Don't get me wrong, I find it easier to wake up in the morning, and at times feel physically great, like I want to work out, but other times I still feel totally lethergic. I also am experiencing up and down depression about my life. I got very skinny during the last couple years, and now am doing everything in my power to gain weight and feel and look healthier. I never ate much, while I was taking meds, but now am eating much better (3 full, healthy meals and tons of water). I want to feel totally healthy, but am a bit scared and paranoid that maybe I messed up my liver...

Hopefully, one of you amazing people maybe experienced something like this and can advise me....

Thanks, and although I haven't posted here in a long time, I never left - I read and I pray and I'm proud of so many of you...


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