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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Thank you soo much for the support I have got to where I start my day checking this board and I feel like I know some of you and with noone in the real world knowing what is going on with me it sure makes me feel better to tell you guys. Izzysmom Im in CA but am sooo afraid of anyone finding out about my prob and I am afraid I will lose my job if I have to be off work and my hubby is disabled and has no income so I wi=ork 2 jobs to suport the family I have 2 beautifull kids also. Loretta38 yes I know that ppl die from sucking on fentanyl and sometimes as much pain as Im in I wish I were one of them but God has other plans for me I guess. I have been an addict for years I started right out of HS doing crank ,meth,coke snoting first then shooting it I stopped on my own after I met hubby and fell in love with him and he diednt have any Idea that I did drugs so I stopped. was clean for about 2-3 yrs and then hurt my back "intro viccodin" the dr even keep me on it during my pregnancy due to extreem pain after birth of my daughter a "friend" turned me on to Soma man mixed with Vics I was hooked my hubby noticed how waisted I was all the time and told me to choose my family or my pills so I stopped for a few months hard as hell but didnt want to loose my family. Then my back went real bad the Dr said I needed surgury 6screws and 2 bars lower lumbar fusion back on pills when they didnt work they put me on Fentanyl patched=s and Percocet. Failes back surg is what they say I have now along with Fibromialga and Animia QAnd severe Restless legg they pain got worse and a friend had some Oxycontin 40mg and started giving me his script for 120 of them a month pluss 25 Fent 100mg patches and 120 Percocets another friend has Oxy80 mg and gives me 20 -60 of these a month my hubby gets 140 Narcos and 240 Methidone a month and he doesnt take them so I do and 60 Ambian 5mg and a friends 30 Ambien CR 12.5 I end up taking all of this and wanting more I cant stop if there is any left in the bottle I cew up the Oxys hoping they will work faster Its just soooo frustrating I still hurt nothing helps the pain zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzthanks for listining I just wanted to be honest and open noone in the world knows what I am doing I just needed to see it all again WHY AM I STILL ALIVE 7 yrs of that I should be dead

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