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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hey Maggie - It's so good to hear from you! I haven't been here much lately either. For several reasons. I'm sorry to hear that you are still having a tough time, me too, just not as bad as before. The fog is definitely lifting! Like I said, the worst thing for me now is the leg and arm discomfort. I notice it when I sit or lay down on the couch during the day. It doesn't bother me at night, maybe it's the Ambien?? Also, when I'm walking around it flares up a little. I'm trying to keep busy and with each day am doing more and more. Still get fatigued and have to try real hard not to beat myself up over it, just try to remind myself of all the things I DID accomplish up to that point.

I had gone to the dr for depression and he prescribed Prozac 20 mg for me, which I took years ago with no problem, maybe a few nightmares, but nothing other than that. This time around, however, it was horrible - I had absolutely no appetite (which I had just gotten back through the detox). I was so nauseated and lost 6 lbs in a week. The dizziness was terrible and my vision was blurry. It was really bad. I took that for about 10 days and stopped. My appetite is slowly coming back, alothough still a little nauseated, sometimes I have to force myself to eat a couple crackers in the a.m. so I can take my b.control and supplements. I try to have a banana each day and at least some peanut butter toast. I got Starbucks today and almost barfed!!!! :dizzy: I just take lots of pepto bismal and try not to let it get me down. Thinking about the first 3 days of detox and how rotten that was helps me remember just how bad it could really be!!!

My daughter and I had a heart to heart last night. We cried our hearts out to each other. It was long overdue. She's 21, working at a job she hates full-time and driving an hour each way to design school twice a week (full-time school). We haven't had the closest relationship anyway, so this has been really difficult. I told her how sorry I was for putting her through this and how much I love her and want us to be close - told her how guilty I feel. She told me that she's really proud of me and I told her the same and that she's an inspiration to me. We needed that.........this experience has brought us closer together and for that I'm thankful. :angel:

So where do you stand with your taper???? How's lil' Maggie doing?????? Don't you just thank god for her?? I am so happy to have my dogs to help me through this. How's the new suv? Catch me up on things!

I haven't heard from Facade. I know she had posted about preparing for detox and getting supplements, etc., but I haven't seen anything since.

I have to run and take the girls out, but let me know what's new!!

ttys :wave:
Hi Maggie - Sorry it's taken a while to respond. I started a new job yesterday. It was awful!!! It's a long story, but I'll try to nutshell it........basically I went into what I knew could potentially be a stressful situation and had no idea just how bad it would really be!!! This is a field that I've been in pretty much my whole career, so I "knew" what to expect. Let's just say, it was a total nightmare!!! I knew there were problems within the first couple hours of being there........come to find out the place has changed hands 3 times in the last year, along with most of the employees (more than 3 times in a year, including the manager), constant complaints from customers, just a total lack of concern on the companies part. I got no training and was then informed in a meeting that I would be working EVERY weekend starting this weekend!!!!!!! Um, can we say pis*ed???? (The manager is home on bed rest for a week so I'm hearing this from others, not the person who offered me the job!) I calmly told them that this is not what I agreed to and that I had nowhere near the training necessary to be left alone on the property yet!!!!!!! Oh, and did I mention that these 3 girls had gone out the night before, came in late while I waited outside the front door and reeked of booze all day long?!?!?! That's just the tip of tip of the iceburg! Talk about a nightmare!! Needless to say, I cried all the way home after work and am not going back tomorrow. (I notified them.) I was so happy to be starting a new job and cannot believe that this happened! I came home from work last night trying to be optimistic, thinking today would be better.......and it's just such a letdown! My daughter was home and asked me if it went better today and I broke down. I told her what happened and that I feel like I let her down. She said she's more concerned for my wellbeing. I'm just so bummed right now......and it's back to the drawing board looking for work again. :(
I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take.......it's been almost 2 months since I started detox, I still don't feel 100% (although I pushed through it to work). My legs are still feeling wierd and my head is still foggy. I just want to feel like myself again.
Sorry to ramble, honestly I don't usually feel sorry for myself, but right now I really just need a hug........I feel guilty for wanting to curl up in bed and sleep. I'm just so stressed out right now. Thanks for listening.
I hope you're feeling better.......how are the headaches??? I know they were really bothering you. If it weren't for the pain we wouldn't be here right now and that sux! How's the taper coming? Please write me back and let me know how you are. I'm gonna go lay down.....just want to shut today off and try to start fresh tomorrow. Talk soon!!!!!! :wave:
Trust me you will all feel better. I hesitated to write this as I was ashamed of my addiction/dependency. Afterall, I am a bright, educated woman and should never had gotten myself in that predicament. I did and fully. However, I weaned myself off a 3 year on again/off again Vicodin addiction. It cost me my marriage. I came home to find my husband GONE. It was an abrupt wake up call and I immediatly went into counseling, weaned myself off and have not had one since April 2006. I would take up to 10 or 12 a day of the 10 mgs. I started it to numb my emotional pain--not physical. I have a late in light BEAUTIFUL DELIGHTFUL 4 year old daughter with special needs. The "v" helped me cope. I have been in love with her since day one but mourned my dream for her. I have rebuilt new dreams. So far, I have not had any desires or urges to have any. I guess I know that they could potentially destroy my life and possibly lose the LOVE OF MY LIFE.

I just want to offer people hope that it can be done and I did it myself through a weaning process. I still had about 30 left and gave them to my sister and had her dispose of them. They are gone.....However, my marriage is gone too. In retropect--the marriage was not that great either. I probably took the "V"s for that too. Anything to numb "emotional" pain. Wrong use and totally misused them.

I do remember getting achy tired legs a few months afterwards. It did go away. I take multi vitamins, extra B vitamins, magnesium and pottassium. I also have limited my caffeine intake. I try to walk as much as possible too. Also lots of water.

Here I am 15 months later feeling pretty much back to my own self. There is hope and please keep forging ahead and fight the good fight. You "can" and will do it.

I do take 25 mg Zoloft and ambien for sleep. I am anxious by nature. If I sleep well, my day goes well, if I don't sleep--anxiety sets in.

Best to all.





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