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At my wits end!
Jun 16, 2007
Ok, I posted earlier about the alcohol and valium addiction. I feel like i'm going insane. I have to choose valium or alcohol right now. I can't quit both at the same time. I know that they both are pretty much the same thing, but i literally feel like i'm losing it.

My husband has beer in the fridge and I have some valium, but not many. Which will be the easiest to come off of? The alcohol or the valium? I just can't keep on going like this.

I would give anything to go back in time and never touched a benzo! I sit and think that i can come off the benzo's with drinking, then i turn around and think it's easier to use the valium and not drink. I'm so lost. My husband will tell me to drink alittle, eat and go to sleep. I know he will because that's what he has said in the past, but i don't know if i can drink just alittle. Maybe i'll drink 3 beers, take some benadryl and sleep. I'm rattling on, I know, but I just can't take the numbness in my arms,hands, and mouth and i can't stand the racing thoughts and jerking.

Maybe i'm just being a big baby. I know that alot of you have toughed it out and I should too. I just wish I could be the person i was 5 years ago.
Re: At my wits end!
Jun 16, 2007
Hey Tabby,

Sweetie,

First things first, and it takes alot for me to say this, but I am VERY familiar with alochol and benzo addiction, and if you are jerking and have numbness and tingling in your arms and hands, then ......yes, take a "v" or have some drinks. It really doesn't matter which, but if you are experiencing those kinds of symtoms, your body is detoxing too hard sweetie. I hate to advocate taking anything when you really wanna quit, but plain and simple, people die all the time from w/ding too hard....
I came very close a couple of times from alcohol myself. When I say close, I mean your potassium level plumits (when drinking especially)....Alcohol eats up absolutely any electrolyte, vitamin, etc you have....
I was hospitalized with halucinations that I had been having for 3 days and can remember it welll and actually thought I was seeing people in my attic, snakes crawling around and things in trees. I called the police out to my house 4 times during this period. I ran around my house outside in the rain for hours chasing people and things that weren't there. I had not drank in a week. Quit CT after being an all day/night every day/night drinker for several years. I remember all of this very well and I ACTUALLY DID see these things....I was stone cold sober. Like I said, I was taken to the ER for observation and they pulled blood and within 20-30minutes they were rushing into the room telling me I was being admitted immediately. My potassium level was at 2.1...you die at 2.0. THIS IS THAT SERIOUS!!! NO JOKE! Another time my hands started tingling and went up my arms (I WAS DRINKING AT THE TIME-NO W/D)...my fingers and hands started to draw in, my arms drew up ....they could not be pulled apart. My tongue began to swell I couldn't talk........again.....low potassium from alcohol abuse......I was almost dead. I cannot stress enough how dangerous alcohol and benzos are to w/d from........you must be detoxed....period. Valium will not leave your body as quickly as alcohol, therefore the shock to your system is not quite as bad....but it's not much better.
Is there some reason you cannot go into detox? It sounds like it would be safe as far as your marriage goes...if you do not have ins. , there are places you can go who offer state insurance that they will set up for you. If not....

Just a suggestion, I don't know if it will work........(Sorry this is so long)

I wanted to stop drinking one time....I knew if I continued, I'd die.....I knew if I stopped, I'd die........
I went to the ER and told the triage nurse and others I was just really sick with some b*lls*** story, bronchitis or something.....I stuck to this story until the actual doctor came in....when he finally came in he asked (rudely I might add) "so what's the problem?"....I proceeded to muster up an ounce of courage and said, "honestly, I am an alocholic, and I need/want to stop drinking but if I stop CT I will die. I have no insurance and cannot tell ANYONE about this for fear I will lose my child. Will you please prescribe me some Librium so I can quit at home?" This doc was very rude, treated me like I lived under a bridge and was brandishing a gun and had leoparcy.......BUT he did it!
I believe I took 1 Librium 4x's day for a week.....I was detoxed. Now, the only way I knew about this, and knew HOW to detox was because I had been in detox before. I really DO NOT advocate this at all by yourself, but you have put a scare in me!:) I just know way too well what can happen and it doesn't sound like you've ever detoxed before and I'd hate for something bad to happen to you Tabby!
You also have got to start taking potassium pronto....! That's why you are numbing and tingling...your electrolytes are shot. The same thing happens to athletes that don't "amp up" with electrolytes and burn all their fuel! Potassium is like the heirarchy of electrolytes...you can killl with it (leathal injection/death row) and you can also die without it. If you're gonna drink and do the valium or if you detox you also need to eat tons! Lots of heavy stuff like pasta, tacos, hamburgers and lots of candy to offset the alcohol. Tons of fluids (gatorade, juice, water). Calcium and sodium are two other things we loose alot of when drinking.
Well I hope I have really gotten the point across as to how serious it is to detox CT from the things you're on. It's very painful and very frightening....and deadly! Whatever you decide to do, it sounds like you have abused long enough/hard enough that you just cant do it CT...so please get some kind of help!

Praying for you and wishing you all the best!
Shay
:cool:
PS..check out the detox plan at the top of this board for more suggestions for detox/wd ease..





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