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O.K. Guys thanks for the advice. My biggest prob. right now is that I can't even taper b/c I am in such tolerance withdrawal. This weekend I did the worst thing I could do because I HAD to work: I took the night time dose AND took 1 ativan every 4-5 hours when I started to shake, have heart palpitations etc. Now I'm a mess. I called Dr. but only got social worker. I'm thinking I can't do this at home. I've called 10-15 rehab centers and cannot find a Benzo Detox Fac. period, let known a sliding scale since insurance doesn't cover it. Everybody says go to a hospital-I can't afford it. I just don't get this stabilization thing when do you ever stabilize? The drug is not helping me sleep anymore. I'm sick of feeling sick. No Dr. should ever prescribe this stuff unless they know how to get you off of it! already signed the petition. any thoughts? I'm losing my mind and ready to walk into an emergency room and deal with the money later.
Hi Kathryn

[B][COLOR="Blue"]I see my Dr. tomorrow, but I think I need more of an expert on Benzos.[/COLOR][/B]

Yes, Kathryn, you do need an expert on benzo withdrawal. I began with my family doctor... had a horrible first week! Saw a psychiatrist and listene to his advice.... somewhat. Went back to family doctor, shared what psych had advised, and between the two, a plan was devised. The family doctor was a bit harsh on the no meds period and get off them fast, the psychiatrist was a bit mushy and wanted to add meds and change meds. I had to use my own common sense and gut instinct AND stand up and talk honestly with both about what I felt was workable to me. I did not add or change meds, but my family doctor did readily agree to taper the opiates and the benzo seperately and much more slowly than originally planned. The seperating and slowing down was advice from the psychiatrist. After a few visits, I worked the tapers with the family doctor and began seeing a clinical social workr for common sense help.

A psychiatrist is the better bet usually for advice concerning any kind of psych meds at all. There are psychiatrists that specialize in addiction. Maybe this is a possibility for you.

Kathryn, two things, if I may:

With your insurance. Are you [U]sure[/U] rehab is not covered??? This would be unusual for most insurances as they prefer to pay for shot at rehab verses longer term, ongoing medical care for the problems that often arise with drug misuse. Often, the mental health benefits are handles by a seperate carrier section... with a seperate phone number and all. Check out your policy thoroughly one more time.

Money. Kathryn, a lack of money can sure be a concern and I know this first hand. I let my syrong desire to work outway my common sense as I fell lower and lower into depression. Life finally made the decision for me and I had a TOTAL breakdown and had to retire from work. It might have been a gentler path had I acknowledged and did something about the misuse of narcotics before this happened! As gently as I can... you are still making money the priority over your very health and well-being. Choosing not to handle the problem because of money and choosing a new job and the money over your well being again. Are you confident in starting new job responsibilitioes and attempting withdrawal simutaneously? It was sure an impossibility for me to work for money that I thought I could not live without and push aside impending physical and mental health issues. The fall came hard.

When I read a previous posty from you, everything in me sensed you were on the verge on a pretty big fall yourself. I still believe in my heart that a dangerous path is being traveled. We can have many priorities in our lives at the same time, but only one of them can be the 'top' priority. For me, it came to a crossroad... stop working and try to regaion my life or keep struggling at work and die. I took the time out to heal. Now I am working at home, starting a business of my own seperately... and last night had a very promising offer to investigate a new job that is only a few hours a day, in work that I love, and not at all a hinderance to my other business pursuits! I have been asked to interview tomorrow as I look over the educational operation! Kathryn, it does all work out.

Wishing you well
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