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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Chrissy, Hi I am new to this board and like you have an injury. I have read your posts and maybe you can help me. I have had 4 spinal surgeries and the most recent one was 4 weeks ago and was a spinal fusion and bone graft. I have two gorgeous children and I must say that the pain of the recovery from the last surgery was as bad as being in labour for 3 days straight. Here in OZ I think the equivalent to vicodin is called endone and I was takiing 3 x every 3 hrs just to take the edge off the pain. Also one called tramadol and paracetemol.

It is now 4 weeks and I have managed to wean myself off the heavy pain meds. I am very proud of myself for doing that. But, I have had the surgery to allow this to happen. I hope that you can get to the bottom of your pain problem and have it fixed (easier said than done) and start your journey of coming off the meds.

For me this has been a 6 yr process to get to the stage I am at. Not needing any morphine based pain killers anymore for the pain. But you know I miss the feeling of the bast**d drugs. It makes me angry and embarrassed to think that I feel like that. I know that I can go to my dr tomorrow and get a packet of morphine pills and take 3 and get that feeling again. BUT, it is so hard not too. Reading your story has made me come on here and ask you for help and guidance to stop me from doing this. My family all worry about me and I even worry about myself. I know it is wrong but it is so hard to resist. Anyway I have bared my absolute soul on this board, in the hope that some of you wonderful people can give me the advice and support that I need.

Also, I have developed a dependence on valium and xanax. These I want to get rid of as well. They feel great but are ruining things for me. I have tried to detox cold turkey but couldn't cope with withdrawals and nearly had a seizure. I think I need to wean off them slowly. Any advice from kind people on this forum would be wonderfully appreciated. It is late at night here and I am on this board because I can't even own up to my own husband about my problems and don't want him to know the extent of it all. How cowardly.

Anyway, will go and good luck to you all. Tessa:)

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