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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


I read your story and I thought I was reading about myself. You might not want to read my whole story as it goes back to my teens and I am 57 now. When I was 15 my mother took me to a doctor for weight loss. I was what you would call "pleasing plump". My doctor put me on amphetamine diet pills. I lost alot of weight.

About the same time I developed gallstones and when I was 19 I had my gallbladder removed. Back then you were in the hospital for 10 days. I was prescribed pain medication. Well I got over that and my dad who was addicted to Darvocet would give me one or two if I had a headache. Problems with my "period" and the doctor gave me some strong stuff. This went on and on until I was 40 years old. Here is when it gets interesting! I had to have cancer removed from my lower lip. They had to take some of my upper lip and place it to the bottom and they sewed it shut for two weeks. Just enough room for a straw. This was probably the worse pain I had ever had. I was put on Lortab and believe me I needed them. When they went to open my mouth back up, more Lortabs only stronger. For the first year after that I had dermabrassion done several times. More Lortabs. The year this took place my grandmother who was more like a mother, my mother and my dad died. All in the same year. I became so despondent they put me on prozac and I doctor shopped for any pain pills I could get. Back then you could do that.

My addiction to pain medication grew and grew. There were a few times when I was "clean" but something would come up and back on the Lortabs. When I had finally run out of doctors, I started buying them from a friend. At the same time I developed spondalytis in my neck and my doctor prescribed darvocet. Not as strong as Lortabs, but a narcotic. I also became a very heavy drinker. My husband was and I joined him.

One day I took 5 darvocets at the same time while I was having a few beers, forgot that I had taken them and took 5 more. I was rushed to the hospital where they gave me something that made me throw up something terrible. I was finally willing to admit that I was a drug addict. I also asked for help. My family was extremely mad ad me and very unforgiving. I was admitted to a rehab center for a month. When I got out I had ever intention of never taking another pill or drink again. Never say never! My husband was definately not willing to give up his beer, and became sullen and angry with me all the time. I said ok, we will just drink beer. So back to the heavy drinking again.

Told you this was a long story! I started with the doctor shopping again and pharmacy hopping so they wouldn't be on to me. One day I was buying some Vicodin and they pharmacy that I took a lady I didn't even know to refill her's where I bought them from her. The police called me and wanted to know if I knew this woman and why was I taking her to a pharmacy. (It was video taped and I think she had done this several times before.) I told them I was just doing a favor for a friend. When my husband got home that night I confessed everything to him and the next day I went to the police station and told them everything. I didn't get arrested, but the lady that sold them to me did. I got in contact with my doctor and he prescribed medication to help me get off the pain meds. It worked and I no longer take them. But I had to hit rock bottom before I decided to get my act together. There is alot more to more story but this is probably getting very boring for all of you.

Now I have a problem. I just was released from the hospital where I had a lobectomy VATS. I was in for four days. I kept refusing the morphine but they kept telling me I had to take it because everytime I was in pain I was holding my breath. I was in ICU and the nurse kept telling me to pump the pain pump. I finally got to the point where I refused it entirely. They said ok but they were putting me on percocet. I only took them maybe 2 or 3 times and they sent me home with a prescription of 50 pills. Now I am in alot of pain and not able to take the pain meds without everyone looking at me with disgust on their face. It has been a 5 days at home and I only took one so far.

Maybe someone can help me and tell me what I should do. Lay there in pain everytime I breath or take one when I absolutely need it. They are now locked up and I made my husband leave out 2, one for yesterday if I needed it and 1 for today if I did. I didn't take one yesterday and I couldn't sleep all night long.

Anyone have suggestions?

Sorry for the length of this but it is my story.

linda





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