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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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I want to thank you for your replies. I know it's frustrating trying to talk to someone like me who isn't sure if she wants to give this up. I've met my fair share of people while in treatment who weren't ready to give up their eating disorders but I could clearly see that it was killing them. Very frustrating indeed.

I'm a 31 year old female (I think someone asked about my age?) and I am living independently and working on my own. I only work part time right now because I'm still receiving SSDI for major depression but I'm on my way to getting off of disability pretty soon and I'm excited about that. I've come a long way in recovery from my prior addictions and problems, mainly the anorexia and depression. Unfortunately as you all know I'm struggling with this pain med thing.

Since this incident happened with me getting sick I've cut back on the number of pills I've been taking each day and I'm really trying to taper off very slowly until I'm finally off of these pills!!! It's hard because I have access to so many pills that the temptation is always there. I really do have kidney stones and they do show up on CT scans so I can always go to the ER to get meds as well, and that's a huge temptation as well.

But despite this I'm really trying to get these pills out of my system. Each day that I go to work I still take norcos but I've been finding that after the high is over I tend to feel more depressed, and I know that norco and other meds can have that effect on people and for me I'm sure it's increased a bit because I'm already very susceptible to depression and am taking anti-depressants. And as much as I like the high that I get, I really hate the low that comes after it even more. So that's one of the big motivators for me to give this up.

So that's where things are at right now. Again, thanks for your caring and thoughtful comments.


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