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Captnanny,
First off I want to let you know that I know exactly where you are coming from..I was there a little over 3.5yrs ago..I had tried alot of different things trying to get clean..Cold turkey,doctor supervised taper,and even actual detox to rehab a couple times..It seemed no matter what I tried I failed at..Mainly because of the depression that came with being sober for me.It was an ugly,dark,black void of depression that no amount of antidepressant would help..
My voyage into pain pills was even simular to yours..It started with a back injury in which I first suffered a compression fracture then went back to work before being released from the doctor and ended up rupturing the 2 disks next to the fracture..I also suffer from major chronic headaches due to a large mass on my brain that causes pressure headaches..Well instead of doing anything aggressive with either of the problems the doctors kept me on a regimine of pain meds..Before I knew it one didnt work then two didnt work adn so on and so on..Before I got help I was using massive amounts of oxycontin daily along with large amounts of hydrocodone,fentanyl and morphine..I was consuming approx 360mg of oxycontin(snorting it)approx 200-250mg of hydrocodone(20-25 10mg/500mg tablets by mouth)2400mcg of fentany(3-4 of the 800mcg lolipops each day by mouth) along with approx 240 or so mg of morphine(snorting)..Whats sad is I never realized exactly HOW MUCH I was using on a daily basis until one day I decided to start keeping tabs...I was floored to say the least..What was really sad is I had gotten beyond the point of actually getting high off the meds..That wasnt even my main goal there at the end..I just didnt wanna get sick..
I decided back in Febuary of 2004 that I would try methadone..For me its been a life saver..I have been on methadone for 3.5yrs now and have no plans on getting off it in the near future..For me it works 3 fold..One it works as far as keeping me off illicit opiates.I have NOT taken a single pain pill since the night before I started the clinic 02-05-04..I also still suffer from chronic pain so it works great for that also..And lastly its been great for my depression..I am NOT saying methadone is for everyone..Or that everyone with an opiate addiction should run as fast as they can to the clinic..I am a FIRM believer that a person has to do what is RIGHT FOR THEM..

That being said I want to address a few things you mentioned in your post..The first is in what I think was your last post you said that you didnt wanna be here a year later trying to figure out how and when to get off of methadone or sub...If thats the case then I would definately try the sub route first..You can do a short term taper with subs and shouldnt have much trouble..With methadone its reccomended that you spend ATLEAST a year and a half on a stable dose BEFORE beginning to taper..Then you might as well figure in another year or so to actually do the taper itself..So at the very least you are looking at an approx 2.5-3yr commitment from the get go with methadone..Also I will say this..IF suboxone would have been available back when I was first going to start methadone I would have given it a shot first..The thing with Suboxone is if you get on it and for whatever reason it doesnt work for you then you can always switch over to methadone..Its MUCH easier to switch to methadone from suboxone than vice versa..Though you gotta do whatever is right for YOU!!!! Just as I had to do what was right for me..I cant tell you what that is..I can only give you my experience and maybe give you some insight into your choices..I can pray for you and hope for the best for you..Which is something I WILL do..

Another thing with the suboxone is that you can get it from a doctors office and then from your local pharmacy...Where as methadone is from the clinic ONLY as far as for addiction purposes...While it can be Rx'd for pain management in a doctors office setting it can NOT be Rx'd for addiction purposes in a doctors office setting for longer than 3 days..Its against the Controlled Substance Act here in the USA...I just wanted to make that clear before you wasted your time trying to call around to find a doctors office that will...
Well I am gonna head to bed...if you have any questions about methadone or methadone treatment for addiction in a clinic setting then please feel free to ask me...I dont mind answering any questions you may have about it..And trust me when I say that I have researched it to death.lol..IYou will be in my thoughts and prayers as you work this all out in your head..Just remember that no matter which choice you make it will be okay in the end..You are in the right frame of mind that whichever you decide on will work for you..Good luck and god bless my friend...If you need me just send up a smoke signal...

Bdean
thank you all for your support even after my last post. Yes I was a little defensive. Then I realized you all can't read my mind, especially through a computer. My first post was an attempt to not get emotional as I asked for support. Even as I write now I start to cry because this is HUGE for me. I feel like a failure for not being able to taper down wth doc's approval and now he says it wouldn't be in my best interest to quit cold turkey. I have a name of someone who prescribes the suboxone. My doc gave it to me yesterday. He said that he wants me to try the sub. first because he sees me wanting to continue getting clean with the sub and that the methadone would prob. keep me from wanting to get off it even when they say it's time. I am so afraid of taking the pain, depression and all the bad stuff out on the kids that I nanny for that I don't know what to do. I am only with them two days a week, but don't want to spend my day yelling at them, which happened when i was tapering. Anyway I don't even know what I am saying right now but I still need help, especially making that phone call. Thanks for all the advice and i hope to be here regularly.





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