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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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Thanks for all your comments. Like I stated in my first post I am very nervous. The thing is, I have tried all the different ways, tapering down, going cold turkey for a few days with clonidine and immodium, celexa for my depression. Nothing seems to work I end up SEVERELY DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL and feel like my brain is going to short circuit. My doc said that I should give one of these a try because I can't live on this stuff forever. My response is always that it seems like the only antidepressant that works. I know that is wrong. Am I worried that I am trading addictions, YES YES YES that I do not want. So I have read that methadone is more addictive than suboxone and UUUGGHHUUGHGHUHG, I don''t know. I don't want to be suicidal during this, or at least when I'm with the kids. I am like their surrogate mother. I can't take any time off of work for inpatient. Anyways, I already have done that for depression. I want to get clean, I know going on sub or meth isn't getting clean but it's my last hope. I don't know what to do.
I don't want it to be another year and im sitting here contemplating going off either of those two. I want it to be another year and I'm just coming out of the depression from the both of them six months to one year for the full round of sub? I am speaking up my butt right now because I have tried all those that you suggested, I understand I'm trading in one for another, I HATE that but my doctor said that I can't be on the verge of a breakdown everytime we start weaning.

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