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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hi Everyone,
My name is Amy. I first came to this board in desperate need of help for oxy/hydro addiction about 3 years ago. I got a lot of very helpful advice (like the detox plan) and an unlimited supply of support. There is nothing better than talking to people who are in the same boat as you are. Feeling that not only are you not alone, but that you are not a loser, an idiot, an f-up for ending up in the situation you are in, because plenty of wonderful, well-respected well educated people end up in this situation every day, that is very helpful in and of itself.

I tried to detox a few times and failed. I would get about a week into it then I would still feel so sick or tired or depressed that I would say "screw it" and just start taking the pills again. I spent most of my 3 year addiction taking up to 400mg of oxy/hydro a day. I drained bank accounts, I maxed out credit cards, I alienated my friends and family, and I saw no way out.

About a year ago, I got sick and tired (of being sick and tired, as they say in NA) and decided to take a new approach to detoxing. Now this is by no means a cure-all for pill addiction, in fact it presents the possibility to become addicted to other pills. But for me it was worth the risk.

I stopped taking all oxy & hydro and started taking Tramadol, which is considered to be a synthetic opiate, but less addictive (some people will say that it is harder to get off of than oxy, but that varies from person to person, and I am not one of the people who have ever had a problem getting off it.) I took about 3 50mg tabs 4 or 5 x's a day, and used xanax or valium when I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I was able to go about my normal day, albeit not with the same gumption and enthusiasm as when on oxy, but I was able to take care of my 2 year old (yes, I used when pregnant, not proud of it, but the truth is ugly) and run my household. I kept to this regimin for about ten days, then I stopped all meds. I had some anxiety for about 2 days, which could have been just caused by my mind being freaked out because I wasn't swallowing some pill every 3 hours, but after that, I was in the clear. FREEDOM! For the first time in 3 years, I woke up without sweating and shaking. I didn't have to count and re-count my stash to determine when I would run out, or hide money from my husband so that I would have enough to replenish my supply. I didn't feel guilty about strapping my daughter in her car seat and driving. It was truly a miracle!

I have been free of my disease for more than a year now, and although I have taken narcotic painkillers on about 4 occasions (mostly for dental work) I gave them to my husband to administer as he deemed necessary then got rid of what was left over.

Do I have cravings? YES! Am I at risk of relapsing? OF COURSE! But it hasn't happened so far, and with the strength of my family, friends and of course myself, it won't. I will never let my guard down, though. That is when you get bit in the ol' keaster! But I have been able to live a happy, productive & normal existence without the help of pills, and I hope that all of you struggling with this awful affliction can find a way that works for you and beat this demon into the ground.

Good luck to all my fellow addicts out there, I know your pain and pray for your recovery. There is a life out there waiting for you, one free of pills and all the turmoil they cause. Don't give up. Keep on keepin' on. You'll find your way back. I did, and I'm no different than you!


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