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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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g8trg where do you live at in florida I am in Jacksonville now, but before rehab was in coral springs. I am glad that my story uplifted you. It strengthens me when I hear from people who have benefitted from my story. Congrats on taking your first step to getting out of the quicksand!!! Just remember though suboxone/subutex are just a temporary life line to get us out of the sand, but to stay away from it for good we need to change our behavior and build a strong support group. Changing environments is helpful as well if it is at all possible. Moving away from where I was, was a hugh help as I got away from the docs I knew would write me a script and the friends I had that would give me drugs. Some would say they were not my friends, but as my dealers were always fellow users and people I dealt to when I had excess I still consider them friends as I think their intentions were good in that they did not want to see me suffer and whether it was because of pain or going through withdrawals they did not want to see me go through it. That made it hard to leave them behind and for now cut ties, but as they are not ready to make the step I have and as I am not ready to be the strength that they might need to pull them out of the quicksand as well I had to or they would have dragged me back in. Pain pill addiction is so difficult I think because for so many of us we did not get into it initially for the high and all though thats what it turns into we still many times do have some legit pain issues that would warrant someone without our same problems taking the pills medically. It is a fine line at times, which made it so easy to rationalize, atleast for me anyway. I still try to do ocassionally and tell myself oh it would be ok if you just got a few pills for those days when you really hurt, but I cant do it and fortunatly for me I have not convinced myself yet that it would be ok (thank gosh). I tell myself well as long as you dont snort them it will be ok, but it won't I will just end up right back in the quicksand. I totally got side tracked a little, and I guess I just needed to get some thoughts out there as I have been very tempted the last few days to get pills, and by reminding myself here of the consequences of that and sharing with others who are fighting the battle with me helps me not fallin into the quicksand again. I think that is so awesome that you are getting help and hope you do all the other things you need to do to stay clean, sober, and away from the quicksand. Suboxone saved my life, because I wanted to and had tried to quit so many times before, but once I would get sick I could not take it. Knowing that just a few lines of a roxy or oxy would take my pain away always did me in. I would say ok I will just do one just to hedge off the symptoms some and then one turned into two and two into three, four, five, and then six hours later I would realize I had been sniffing pills none stop and could not remember anymore whether it was four, five, or even ten pills I had done. Suboxone freed me from that trap and helped me get through till I was stronger and clear headed. The things that have made me stronger are going to meetings staying close to my friends and family, and getting my feelings out there. Make sure you do those things as well as one day you will have to give up the subutex as well. I have read a lot of negative things on this board about the subutex and suboxone and how people could not come off of it or the withdrawals were worse then with their other drug. This is just my opinion and my experiance and is not meant to offend anyone else, but it is also to hopefully encourage you as well. I feel like if you do the things you need to, to become strong and clear headed coming off of subutex or suboxone and how hard it is, is mostly in your head. It is just finally letting go of substances all together. After reading so many negative post and so few positive post I was so worried about coming off it, but I just told myself what I originally thought and what my doc told me. My doc has me on 12mg a day and over the last two weeks I have cut it down to none on a few days and at most 8 with very few negative affects. I just have been telling myself it is time to start letting go. You are strong now, you are clear, and level headed its time to leave it all behind. The thing I have noticed most is that my cravings for oxy has increased, but I have not felt that bad physically at all. I am sure as I have less of the sub in my body the more my body tries to get something so I think of oxy, but at some point I will have to get to the point of just being able to say "NO". I can do it, you can do it, we all can do it!! G8trg keep up the good work. Keep moving foward remember the road to recovery is more like the treadmill to recovery if you do not keep moving foward and progressing and even just try to stand still you will fall back and fall back hard. If you ever need any help, strength, encouragment, or anything just post me a message, and I will do what I can. I usually check the boards every day or two. The same goes for anyone out there reading this. Keep it up and keep me posted.





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