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Re: Bad Nap!
Oct 30, 2007

I know exactly what the 'zaps' are and they are just horrid. They are scary and yes, it also entered my mind that I was dying.

I first experienced them years ago in cancer treatment during the time I was getting chemothrapy (chemicals). Hated, hated hated when they occured. I tried to tell the oncologist and he just stared at me blankly. It was only when I shared with another chemo patient that someone finally acknowledged what I was feeling with them.

When I initially started tapering and started too strong a taper because both the oxycodone and Xanax were brought down at the same time, they hit me again. My legs also banged off the bed... my whole damn body lifted off the bed. I really did think again that I was going to die and I was so scared I just lay there and endured it. I could not move myself off that bed for love of life or limb. Totally paralyzed by fear.

When they stopped that first night, my brain finally vclamed down enough to think a bit. It was then that I realized that it was the chemical reactions again, just like in chemo. The chemicals and our adjusting on and off of them through the brain into a frenzy. It is trying to self correct I guess. And anything that occurs in the brain is bound to effect the nervous system ... like making the body jerk without intention. I do believe that when I went into that full withdrawal mode from too heavy a start on the taper, I had mini seizures. I talked with my family doctor about this and he thought so, too. But there was nothing to do after it had ocurred and I survived them. sometimes Depakote is given when coming off benzos to prevent seizures.

I am sorry you had to endure this. But now you have endured it and hopefully the zaps will never hit you again. I had them in the beginning of my taper for a few weeks, but they subsided. It is good that you shared about them. Now try to put them away and get ready to enjoy time with Mom.

This is all going to be in the past at some point, Maggie. Every crummy symptom will end. yes, it will. And then the physical suffering will be a thing of the past and life will be waiting for you to grab ahold of and celebrate in.
Oh, I know it sounds like I am a Pollyanna when I say this, but I know it is true. I know it because it has happened for me.

Pollyanna reach

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