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Reading through pages of threads I haven't stumbled across much about pot addiction. Mostly pills... I've never been addicted to any pills, although I have taken many. They just aren't my thing. Basically what i'm attempting to discover is information or any advice what-so-ever on marijuana addiction alone. I've come to terms with my own understanding of the roots of addiction through meditation and yoga but still have trouble with MY cravings and boredom. I can say that about the only reason I would smoke pot was because of boredom. This could all be a deep personality disorder that I have but is still hidden beneath the layers upon layers of conditioned reaction to boredom. Does anyone else suffer extremely from boredom alone? Enough to cause anxiety and depression? The anticipation of smoking pot was the peak experience for me. The actual physical action of smoking it was more depressing than anything for the fact that it is impermanent. When smoking I would have the substance in my hands but it was not enough. I would have it to my mouth and lighter in hand and it became that not smoking it would make me so sad not to experience it, yet when I decided it was time to take a puff the feeling that the effects of the pot were already leaving my experience disturbed me as well. It's become an extreme tennis match within myself to uncover what all of this means, if it means anything. I've decided to take a hiatus from smoking for now. I remember the first experience with pot was so mind expanding and actually a positive experience at that. Soon after it became the story of any addict. Pot became a necessity to me for a good time. I want to experience the beginner's mind of pot smoking again, but without the emotional drainage it has on me now, and without the addiction. I believe that when quitting an addiction, replacing that addiction with something else is not the answer because that something else can/will become the same as what you wanted to quit. That philosophy might not suit well with everyone, but it's basic and i'll stick with it. As a spiritual person I found smoking pot to be a chance to open myself to other realms of experience. I credit smoking pot to my discovery of meditation which is a highly acclaimed technique for stress relief, yet smoking has become such a burden that I will not meditate while under the influence. I don't feel pure or clean in a spiritual sense anymore while under the influence so time has become my only escape from the feeling of being high. The funny thing is that pot smoking directed me to my inner self, which then lead me to meditation and yoga and now i'm deciding to quit that which has brought wonderful feelings in an indirect way. The feeling of fear of becoming better and relieving my addiction still remains, yet it is so foolish to fear such things. It is that boredom that haunts me. Can anyone out there in AddictionLand relate to this? :D





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