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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hey There,

I started drinking really heavily about 4 years ago (had a lot of **** going on a the time with my job, family [father was dying], relationship and had a huge amount of anxiety. Prior to this time I would drink on the weekends sometimes or just go weeks or months without drinking at all. Strictly a social drinker who didn't get much out of alcohol, however I did have a spotty history of abusing street drugs.

So after about three years of drinking every single night I became physically addicted. I couldn't stop on my own without endangering my life. I went into alcohol detox in October of 2006. This was after laying off alcohol for four months after my doctor had given me librium to take for five days to detox myself. After detox I didn't drink again until Christmas holidays 2006 and it was really bad. A huge binge. Again I had to get librium and detox myself.

In short you seem to be using alcohol for the very same purpose I did: to control anxiety. When I discovered that little tidbit I went to a doctor and got a prescription for Xanax which worked beautifully for controlling my anxiety but the only problem is that I kept on drinking w/ the Xanax. In fact, both substances fueled my need and desire for the other. I became cross-addicted. So I then detoxed myself from alcohol and Xanax by using librium for five days and klonopin for the long term which i still take but can't say I abuse because I just take if for anxiety.

Bottom line: You are treating your anxiety disorder with alcohol. The pills aren't much better but if you used them as prescribed you will treat your anxiety and not develop a *heavy* dependency on them although you will develop a dependency. Ideally, an SSRI like Paxil is best for anxiety because it is non-addictive. I tried it and it worked for my anxiety, but it just made the rest of my anxiety-free life suck because I couldn't feel anything at all. The ultimate or ideal cure for anxiety is therapy without the use of drugs. But you have to be strong, man, and really talk to yourself when you go the non drug route for treating anxiety. It is a battle everyday to get the demon of anxiety off of your back by sheer mental force... i.e., talking yourself down from your attacks, but if you are successful at it -- and I know many people who are -- it is well worth it to live an anxiety-free and drug free / alcohol free life.

Currently, I am taking Subutex but will be off of it in about 5 weeks. I take klonopin as prescribed. I also drink but no longer have a physical addiction to it because I drink only a few drinks per night which is probably about two or three to many but still enough to keep me from becoming an addicted wreck. I now find it rather easy to not drink or to drink just a few but it took a while to get to this point. So, by implication I don't drink that every person who was once addicted to alcohol can never again become a social drinker. I'm going to go on the wagon for a while -- not because I'm drinking all that much but because I'm into healthy eating and exercising and all of that **** and alcohol just doesn't fit with the plan beyond a glass or two a day of red wine.

Best,

storm





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