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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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I am an addict
Dec 22, 2007
Currently, my addictions are alcohol and the internet. It seems to me that I can get addicted to anything that gives me a high in some way. Luckily marijuana gave me an uncomfortable feeling in my spine, so I never progressed further into illegal drugs. I know if I were to even have a taste of something that makes me feel good, I would be hooked.

How I know I am addicted?
Alcohol: Every evening I find some reason to drink. Whether it be a celebration or a bad thing that happened that day I will drink. If I have no reason at all, it simply is ‘time’ to have a drink. Although I never have a hang over, I wake up in the morning feeling like I can go a day without a drink. It starts off great, in fact, with a healthy meal. After work I even spend time at the gym (4 to 5 times per week). Then I fail on the way home and buy more booze. Some evenings, where I didn’t have much to drink, I have trouble sleeping. When I have to complete those doctor forms, I lie about how much I drink. I have completely embarrassed myself on multiple occasions in front of my family and friends including my mothers funeral.

Video games! I found a mmorpg and played it for the past 3 years. Basically every single day I have to get in the game for some reason or another. It is like a second life. But even prior to that I found myself at my computer for hours upon hours every night playing something. It also affects my work in that I think about this game often enough to be in some sort of haze all day long. Currently, I have canceled my account, but now I am on the computer for the same amount of time doing other things… like posting here haha!

After a cold, I always finish up my doses for the high. Thank god I never bought more just to continue. Nyquil is good stuff.

As my topic states, I feel that I am an addict rather than an alcoholic or whatever-internet-addiction-is-called. This is part of my personality. I need to engross myself in safer alternative addictions as I know I can never be without them. Suggestions? I am proud to say I have quit tobacco use of 15+ years. I am 2 years clean now. And while I still have some poor eating habits, I now hit the gym at the minimum of 4 days per week which greatly improves my life. Unfortunately, I have yet to become addicted to either of these two practices as I often find myself making excuses to do the opposite of what I know is good.

I know many here can relate. I feel that will power and some other outside influence can remove or redirect any addiction. I quit my tobacco use because I thought I had cancer and promised god that I would quit cold turkey if I could live. Turns out it was GERD from my late drinking and eating. Although I am only religious during times of crisis, I am a man of my word. Anyway, I just wanted to tell someone about me that can relate… and yes, I am feeding both of my addictions right now.

Feel free to reply if you like. I wish you all the best in your recoveries. I also highly recommend to you all to get your butts to the gym! I feel a sense of accomplishment every day upon completion of my goal. While I am not in peak physical condition (probably due to all of my extra alcohol calories) I feel great. I read a few times now that daily exercise is equavalent (mentally) to depression therapy in results. It might be BS, but I can see why that could be true.

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