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Hi 999

I think you must have very close feelings with this friend to want to stick by her in such trying circumstances. Like Mano, my first instinct was, "let her go." However, I waited a while before responding and thought about it. I have three special girlfriends that I would probably not be able to walk away from in any circumstances. I have no sisters, but I imagine this is how sisters might feel about each other.

I have a feeling that she is pretty wrapped up in drug abuse, whatever the drug(s) may be. And as Mano says, working at a bar is not conducive to stopping abuse of substances. It just leaves it all too convenient to substitute liquids for pills, you know?

I did not use Suboxone to taper from the Oxycodone and then the Xanax. I believe it is the right choice for some, not for others. For me, it was not what I chose. I worked primarily with my family doctor to taper. I also worked with a clinical social worker who was very, very helpful. I also had a large support system of family and friends. This was a big blessing for me as it takes a lot of shoulders to lean on in withdrawal so as not to overtax any one support. Without all the help, I don't know that I would have found my life retored again, in recovery. This all fell into place once [U]I[/U] made the decision to get out from under the addictive behaviours and call it quits with the Oxycodone and Xanax.

The truth is, 999, that when we are abusing drugs, we become secretive and don't want to discuss our 'meds' with anyone who might argue that we are becoming self-destructive with them. In hindsight, I can now see and hear the hints dropped by friends and family. At the time, I just ignored them or argues that they didn't understand what it was like to live in pain all the time. I would isolate and not have to hear their thoughts or concerns.

I guess that about the only thing you can do is to tell your friend that you know she is suffereing. Let her know that you recognize that she has lost her light-heartedness and does not seem happy. Let her know that you are willing to wlk alongside of her if she takes any course to try and get out from under whatever her issue may be. Leave it open, leave it up to her, then leave it alone. If and when she finds the courage to face up to her issues, which do seem to be drug involvement, then she will know she has a willing helper. I guess in a lot of ways, I am in agreement with Mano, but there is still that part of me that understands how strong the bonds can be between two friends.

And just an FYI... Xanax can easily put a chronic user into depression.... it sure helped lead me there. Some of her behaviours are pretty strong indictaors of depression. The Xanax will only exacerate it.

Best wishes
reach





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