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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Thanks for the responses. I started out taking Vicodin for pain, but eventually I was taking it whether I was hurting or not because I liked the way it made me feel. At one point in time I was taking as many as 16 7.5mg pills a day. I'm tapering off and am at 2 a day right now. I feel the wd's at this low dose and dread the end of this week because I will be out. I've been through wd's before, and honestly, I feel almost suicidal at times. The depression and anxiety are what keep me from breaking free of this drug. I hate it and love it at the same time. I've lied and even stolen just to get it. I can barely look in the mirror anymore. The fact that I'm more determined this time has made me feel a little better about myself, but I'm still not there yet. I had it in the back of my mind that Ultram would help me get off Vicodin, but after reading the things I've read about it, I now realize that this is not an option. I'm afraid of what life will be without the Vicodin and afriad of what life will become if I stay on it. I feel like I've forgotten how to live without it. I know everyone says that being clean and sober gets better and easier in time, so I'm just praying that I can tough it out. I just want to feel normal again. I've gotten a few things together that I've read about on the detox post, and Friday will be my first day with no pills. I'm off this weekend, so I'm hoping by Monday, I'll be able to get myself to work. If I'm sick, which I'm sure I will be, I'll just say I have a bug. Thanks again, my friends, for responding to all my posts. No one but you guys knows what I have done and what I am attempting to do. I appreciate your knowledge and support more than you could know.





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