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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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Hey guys, thanks so much for not forgetting about me.. :)
I'm afraid I have some conflicting information to share... After 2 weeks of pure hell, I decided to call my Sub Dr just to see what was up with me not feeling any better! I mean, I was still feeling like I was going through withdrawals. It was awful. And the depression was starting to set in. So, they suckered me to come in for another appt. (200 bucks out the window) Here's what the Dr. had to tell me. He said that my problem was that the opiates I had been taking had done away with my natural endorphins for so long that my body doesn't know how to produce them yet. And that's why I was feeling so badly. At that point, I was ready to believe anything he was going to tell me. I really didn't want to get back on sub, because I had been off of it for so long, but I knew that I couldn't go on feeling the way I was feeling!! So he said I needed to go back on a low dose of it just for a while longer, and start exercising.. so my body can have a chance of producing natural feel goods again.. So I agreed. And as soon as I took that first 2mgs.. it was like I was me again.. I'm so confused.. I don't know if I did the right thing or not.. I wake up and take the 2mgs, and go about my day.. feeling normal. In my opinion, if that's what it takes for now to keep me going, then so be it.. I guess I just wasn't ready.. :( I hope I haven't disappointed too many people.. but I can't describe the way I was feeling, and anything was better than going on like that.. even going back on sub. And he gave me enough for 3 months, so I feel like now I can taper the way you're supposed to.. slowly and spread it out over a period of time. I think that's the way I'm going to have to work it.

So that's my long story, and why I've been hesitant to post.. I'm not really sure how I feel about taking the sub road again. But I do know that I feel a lot better and it's what my Dr thinks is right for me too. LOL You guys are never going to believe who I got to talk to on the phone.. Yep, my fantasy guy, Tim Tebow. He was eating at the same place as my Grandparents and they know I'm a huge Gator fan, so he actually got on his phone to say hello to me!! I almost flipped out.. Yoss, if you read this, you'll know what I mean.. lol Man, it was cool. AND I got his autograph. That was a high all in itself.. :) Anyway, post back guys, let me know what you think the pros and cons are..

Love to all!!
Brandi
g8trgrl

P.S. Mike - I'm flattered! lol It's too bad we can't share what we look like on here.. I think a lot of us would be suprised..





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