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I am addicted to Percocet and Hydrocodone really bad...

edited

I don't know what to do. I have everything to live for...2 wonderful children, each with a new baby girl...I am a grandma twice in the last year. I am so sick and I don't want to die but I don't know where to turn.

Everytime I go to my doctor I want to tell him so bad but I just can't bring myself to tell him. I can't imagine my life without my pain medicine. My doctor gave me 150 Percocets June 26th and I counted them today, June 30th, and I have 50 left. I do at least 300 pills a month...what am I going to do. I can't type anymore...the tears are streaming down my face. Somebody please help me.
Lisa,

You are not alone. Many of us have been where you are now. Please know you can get off the drugs. You are on alot of pain meds. Please have an honest talk with your doctor TODAY. I will keep you in my prayers.
Mariecan
Lisa, good morning.

You are definetly not alone here. There are many of us here who have been through the same thing you are going thru right now.
You have come to a good place to get information and support.
Start reading posts here. get some good informative info from others here.
I know you're scared, but it might be a great idea to talk to your doctor about this. Sometimes, to let things like this out can be a great weight lifted from your shoulders.

Keep posting.

jerry.
Good morning Lisa,

You are not alone here :) There are alot of people in your position, or have been in your position before, so you'll get alot of help here.

You can do this! Have a chat with your doctor, don't be afraid, mosts doctors are aware of the problems with addiction.

I got a tear in my eye when I read that the tears were streaming down your face :( I was once in that exact position. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it had to stop but I didn't want to tell my doctor cause that meant I'd eventually have to taper down and discontinue the one thing that I really enjoyed doing. Well, I thought I enjoyed it - it ruined my life. I started out with percocet, just like you. When I hit rock bottom, I was taking 10 Oxycontin 80's per day! Thats 800mg of oxycodone IN ONE DAY. One percocet has 5mg, so if you do the math, I was taking the equivalent of 160 percocets a day.

I'm not saying you'll turn out like me. I'm just trying to show you how quickly it get out of hand. From the time I got my first script of 30 percocets, to the time I was taking 800mg, it had only been about 12 months.

Lisa, you can do this. You don't want to get any worse, do you? Take control now, talk to your doctor and figure out a way for you to taper down.

If you need advice, suggestions, encouragement...then you've come to the right place :) There are some really wonderful people on this board, people who will stand behind you and guide you through your journey to recovery.

With love and support,
emsmom (K)
Here I sit.....crying so hard.....with my hands over my face.....rocking back and forth.....tears dripping off my chin and reading your words of encouragement, caring and support...written to me...a person you don't even know.
I don't know what to say to you all, emsmom, jerry, and mariecan...I am at a real loss for words.

For the first time, in my addiction, I don't feel alone anymore. I don't feel like I carry this sick secret all by myself. You have made me feel like, for the first time, I can tell and share my secret...my hell... and my hatred for it.
I hate those pills.....they are killing me and I hate myself for not having control of them.....they have the control and I hate them.

To emsmom, jerry, and mariecan, I can hardly express to you how your caring words and support for me has made me feel inside. I have a feeling of hope. I have a feeling of other people, truly, caring about another human being.....me.
I, honestly, beleived that I was the only person, in the world, that would ever take as many pills, as I do, at one time. It is a miracle that I sit in front of my computer.

I want you all to know how very greatful I am to have found you.
I beleive "you" is what I need and thank you for your warm and caring welcome to your board.

I want to share how I am feeling, with you, before I go.
I logged on to HealthBoards early this morning, for the first time, with no visible light at the end of the tunnel.
Today...I have hope. I can cry and I can share.

After crying all these tears and sharing my secret addiction with you, and I am not real sure why but it really does not matter, I feel so much better. :)
Lisa,
A big hug to you first of all. The question is now what? Did you call your doctor today?
Being honest with your physician can make all the difference. Please think about taking that leap. I know its scary. I really dont know what kind of pain your in but you can be honest with your doctor, tell him how you feel, how these pills are affecting you. As you read alot of life stories on this board you will find most people had very supportive doctors. Please think about it. I am very worried for you.
Keep us updated, we are right by your side.
Mariecan

PS- read dorskins journey- "off oxy 3 days" I just commented on his story so it should be close to the start.
Lisa,

I was in the same boat when I decided to get clean. I was getting 90 oxy/mo and was only 10 days into the month when I realized I was down to 8. Ummm wow, how much was going to be enough?? I knew I needed to get clean and with help from my fiance I made the decision.

It was a tough, no lie. When it seemed like too much, I just told myself.....For this hour Im not going to use. If that was too long.....For the next 10 minutes, Im not going to use. I just kept telling myself this over and over. I had good support around me of ppl that understood what I was going through. And just like you, I knew the pills were killing me. My family had grown tired of the constant attitudes, flip outs and an overall displeasure it was to be around me. I told them when I decided to get clean and I had their full support.

If anything, just remember....YOU CAN DO THIS. Sobriety is a gift and the question is "Are you ready to accept it?" By coming on this board and sharing I believe you are, so I'll pray for you. Please take this gift and save your life.

God bless and keep us informed

d
Hello Marie & dorskin,

"Thank you" for the "big hug", Marie. I am going to need lots of those in the hours...days...and weeks to come. I am so glad I found you all! You just don't know how much.
to marie--- jerry---emsmom---dorskin
to all my new friends here on the board.

Let me begin with the answer to your question, Marie. I did not call my doctor today. I know this is something that I must do very, very soon. But first, I feel like I need to get really honest about everything and put it all out there for you guys, and for myself, as well.

You all need to know what I am working with here and, without a doubt, what I must do if I want to continue to live and I, DO, want to live and that is why I am reaching out to all of you on the board. This will be the battle for my life and I WILL win this fight.

I want ALL of your suggestions, I want ALL of your guidance, I want ALL of your tips, and I want ALL the support that you can lend to me.
I want to hear EVERYTHING you have say to help me win this fight!
I can't do this alone.....I need your help. Please.
Will you all help me?

It is 3:30am here, where I live, and I am getting very tired so I am going to close for now.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, tomorrow!

Lisa
xoxoxo to all my new friends!
Lisa,
How you doing today? Have you called your doctor yet?
Just thinking of you and you are in my prayers.
Mariecan
Lisa, good morning.

Just peeking in on you, hope yer ok, keep posting!

*smile*

jerry.
hi lisa,

my name is kelly, i am a recovering alcoholic and i read the addiction and recovery boards and quite often. i know your drug of choice is not alcohol but addiction is addiction and we all are in the same battle so when i read your post ...i just had to reply and tell you, that i also will support you in any way i can!!!

this is a fantastic group of people that you have found here!!

i actually take norco 10/325 4-5 times a day for chronic pain...so i can kind of relate to the drugs....i think percocet is stronger than norco but anyway...i can see where it could be a problem if your not careful (me i mean) especially with my addiction history.

lisa....you have taken the first step...you have admitted you are powerless over the drug...that was the hardest step for me, and you did it!!

did you get a chance to talk with your dr. yet?? i also went to an addictions counselor who was in recovery himself and he helped more than i could have ever imagined!!

keep is posted and let us know what we can do to help....the support and love and honesty one addict has for another has truly amazed me...we need you as much as you need us!!!!!

much love..and prayers....kelly
Good morning Lisa, how you feeling today?? Its great to hear you want to win this fight and I hope you do. Its a tough road getting clean so I wish you the best of luck. Let us know whats going on and we will help in anyway we can.

Take care
d
Hello Lisa

To tackle addiction is to tackle a lot of fear. Fear of the secret being out, fear of the withdrawal, fear of life without the pills. Oh, I know these fears well because I was addicted to opiates and to Xanax. Those fears grow and grow until they become like an out of contol cancer in our very souls.Like you, my use spiraled and with it, my entire life spiraled downward as well.

How do we get out of the horrible circles we are running in? We face the fear and do what we have to. And that first fear is spilling the story to our doctor. Lisa, I can not tell you the huge relief that comes once we find the courage to do this. Oh, of course I cried and sobbed and felt humiliated and embarrassed.... and you know what? It was all self-imposed! The only thing my doctor wanted to do was help me... and he did! I left his office that day with more hope than I knew could be possible. I left feeling 50 lbs lighter with so much of the fear gone. I left with HOPE.

I am clean for over a year now. My life is calm, it is happy, it is no longer filled with demons of fear. I don't miss the pills and I sure don't miss the life I was living in them. It took a year of tapering, first from Ocycodone and then from Xanax. Yes, it was difficult, really hard, at times. However, as I moved along, it became more and more possible. I totally hated the withdrawal at times, but I knew it was my only chance to live, truly live, again and I wanted it more than anything. I wanted my [U]life[/U] back, and I have it again.

Lisa, print out your thread and hand it to the doctor if you don't feel you can get the words out. Our doctors can only help us best when all the information is truly disclosed. Please, please, take a leap of faith here and belive that those who have gone before you understand what is happening in your head and know what has to be done. Put the brakes on the downward spiral and begin today to find the restored life that is waiting for [U]you[/U].

With all hope and care
reach
That's a great point there Reach

Fear controls you right now. The fear of you w/o the pills. The misery of w/d's, the unknown all of it.

FEAR

Face Everything And Recover

d
Hello my Friends...so many "thanks" to you for your prayer's and concern. I am not doing well. I am feeling, absolute, terror.

Right now...my brain is telling me to log out of here...run... and don't look back.
My heart is telling me to put it all out there for you to see/for me to share.
I am going to listen to my heart and fear being judged.



What I am about to tell you, about myself, is the hardest....most embarrassing truth....I have ever revealed to another about my, so sick, addiction(s). Percocet and Cocaine.
I have been up since Sunday....4 days and 3 nights.
Otherwise, I would have called my doctor by now.


You see, I am divorced (about 13 years now). I live in a decent home/nice neighborhood. I live alone except for my "Min Pin" that I love like no other! For the most part, money and/or lack of, has never been a issue.....unfortunatly.

My sick entertainment consists of having two of my best friend over (Percocets/Opoids and Cocaine) for a 3 or 4 night party about two to three times a month (Cocaine Use). I partake in all the festivities all the while knowing I am slowly but surely going to die. How sick I am.

I don't think I have ever meantioned, to you, that one of my character assets is "addictive behavior disorder."
Doctor's agree that one is born with this asset and
I just happened to be one of the lucky ones. Just set any drug in front of me.....I will do it until it is gone.....I will like it.....and then I will be addicted to it.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.
I love you guys...
Lisa
Hi Lisa,

It felt good to get it out, didn't it;)
I've never confessed to anyone, except for the people on these boards, of my addictive behavior. I have not been able to jump that hurdle and tell someone.

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad right now. Realizing you're an addict is hard and withdrawals - well you know how you feel. I hope the good cry helped. Just try to calm yourself down. Hot bath, cup of hot tea, plop your butt down in the most comfortable place in the house and massage your muscles.

You will feel better soon and kick this addiction. It can be very lonely trying to do this yourself. I hope you get some rest tonight and seek some help in the coming days.

Best wishes,

JB
I am going to bed now...not real sure when I will be on again...I am so tired and so "sick and tired". I have been hallucinating most of the day from lack of sleep.

I pay to feel this way...my addiction...I hate it.

I have, both, my feet on ice packs...it is the drug trying to come out of my feet...it happens everytime when I do a considerable amount of it. They are so red and burning up and just about every mucles in my body is hurting.

I, did, get some information on a detox center about 20 miles south of my home and I am going to check on that after I rest.

I am, also, going to call my doctor now that this is over.

See you all when I rise...the Lord willing. I have been talking to the Lord alot today.

I will pray for all of you before I sleep.

Love and Support,
Lisa
lisa honey,
hold on to us...thats what we are here for..you need a dr. to help you for sure...but cry, cry, cry if you want to...we are here...and 99.9% of us have been where you are my dear...

please let us know what we can do...get tons and tons of rest...your body needs it..and fluids...

let us know how you are...i'm sure we're all thinking of you!!!

love and prayers...kelly
Hello Lisa,

Just want to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope today is a bit better for you. I'm around all day, so if you can, let us all know how you're doing.

Thinking of you,
Love emsmom
Hey Lisa, Im on lunch break and thought Id check in see how you are doing??

Hugs

d
Good Afternoon My Friends,
First, I want to say congrats to, reach, for your one year+ of sobriety. I, also, want to thank you for your suggestion concerning the telling my doctor.

dorskin, you are, absolutely, right about the fears that I am feeling right now. My worst fear is the w/d's and the second is the fear of living without my pills.

granny, I am so grateful to have found the board and to have made so many friends that, truely, care and lend so much of their support to me.

To emsmom, you are in my thoughts and prayers all the time. I think of you often.
I, actually, have been to a rehab center very similar to the one you will be going to. I went back in 2004 for their thirty day program for my addiction to cocaine. I stayed clean for about 30 days.

To dorskin, how caring and supporting of you to take a minute from your lunch break to check in on me. I can't even explain to you how just a "check in" makes me feel so cared about. I have felt nothing but care and support from ALL my new friends on the board.
A sincere "Thank You" to ALL my Friends!

I felt really rough when I woke up about 2:00 today...nothing new to me thou...I knew I would...I always do after the three or four day thing. How sick is that, to know how you will feel and do it anyway. So Sick Am I.

I am sure you know what I did before I could even think about getting out of the bed.
I took my pain meds and, well, you know.....now I feel great.
Such a love/hate relationship.

Last night, before I layed down, the bottoms of my feet where burning like fire and blood red. When I woke up today my feet were swolllen really bad and still somewhat red but once again I knew what was going to happen...it always does. Sick.

Before, I literally passed out last night (actually this morning about 4:00am) I did some reasearch on detox centers in my area and I found one that sounds pretty good but I am still going to do some research on their methods.
I, too, would really appreciate some input from all of you.
It is call Accelerated Detoxification Technique (ADT).
This is what I know thus far about it. It is an out-patient, 3to 4 day, accelerated opiate detox. They use heavy sedation and upon completion of your detox, you go home with a "Naltrexone" implant. I am going to do further reasearch on their site and will let you all know what I find. Like I said, I would really appreciate your knowledge/feedback on this too.

My friends, as you can imagine, I am starving! I am going to fix some dinner and I will be on later.

Love you guys
Lisa
Hi there Lisa. I thought about doing that rapid detox when I was on day2-3. I was feeling terrible and was looking for a way out. My mom gave me some good advice and I'm just going to throw it out there, see what you think.

She said to not do the rapid detox, but go through it. We learn from our experiences and this will teach you a lot. When I think of using again my mind drifts to the pain, sickness and the runs. NEVER AGAIN I think its a great way to think about drugs and where you head is at the end. If you go to sleep and wake up clean you are left with the mind games. The ease of getting clean might leave you thinking that this is a "manageable" disease and that scares me. Take care of yourself and drink you water.

This is what is helping me in my recovery and is just my opinion. I wonder what others think.

Good luck girl

d
Hey Lisa, just checking in to see how you are doing?? Hope you had a great 4th and things are going well.

BIG HUG
d
Lisa, Make sure you research the Rapid/Accellerated Detox...I've heard some negative stuff about it.

jerry.
Thanks my friends for checking on me. I am not doing well...out of pills and hurting so bad. damn..I hate this.
need someone to talk to.....awful
hi...I am also addicted to percocet, but not at as high of a dose. I am tapering and using the detox plan. I don't think you are going to truly get over this hump til you go into treatment. i don't know what kind you need, but sitting in limbo is hell. I am also an ex-cocaine addict so i know about the staying up for days and wanting to come down but not able to stop doing the coke. Anyway, i am up if you want to talk.
Rosebuddy
hi rosebuddy...ty for your reply...I am up and in so much pain...I need help so badly
well lisa im on day 1 of quittin perc/oc. its no fun bud. Do you have anyone in real life to stop by and check on ya? help out? if you do dont b scared to tell them thats the only reason im quittin or id be emptying my pockets as i type to buy some more. on a happy note i saw u had a minpin, i have 4 2 black&rust, 1 stag red, and a blue and they know when u feel bad too it sounds ridiculous but i talk to my buddies(dogs) all the time i think they have kept me sane sometimes hehe. i wish you the best and stick with it, it will be well worrth it, god knows noone like to gothrough the dam w/d's but we do it to ourself we can get out
Wow!!
God Bless you. I was just doing a search on google to find out if I had a problem with Percocet. I have never taken it before, I am 49 years old and I have herniated discs in my lower back and neck, with narrowing of the spine. I have been taking them since December of 2007 and I hate taking pills of any kind, so I didn't really think they were doing anything. The most I take now is 1/2 in the morning and maybe 1/2 in the late afternoon. I got scared and thought I was addicted.
I in my earlier years had a bout with freebasing cocaine. I never knew how addictive that drug was and I thought that the person who told me to try it cared about me. I didn't realize he was addicted to it himself. Wow did that take me down hell's alley. I just thank God that I had my wonderful son in my life, a straight A student who has always excelled and was actually inspiration for me to leave that death trap alone after about 1 1/2 years. Also I had the gift of having a very loving and understanding Grandmother who took care of my son and never stopped loving me even after she found out that I had been on drugs.
You say you have everything to live for, then start living. Tell your doctor and take responsibility for your actions. I know it may not be easy, but I have a newspaper article that stays right in front of my face everyday as I sit down at my laptop to peruse the world and the headline reads..."With God, all things really are possible". And I am here today to tell you it's true.

:angel:
Hi Lisa, my name is Brandi and I'm a recovering addict of pain pills.. Lortab and Methadone. I know the fear and depression and the pain you are feeling.. you NEED TO KEEP POSTING.. your last post was scary.. how are you doing? Let us hear from you. There are quite a few options out there for people like us. Maybe one route you want to look into is Suboxone/Subutex. It saved me.

Let us know how you are!!

g8trgrl
Lisa,

How we doing today girl?? Checking in and want to make sure you are doing ok

BIG HUGZ

d
Ok so take a deep breath, there are alot of people in your shoes! You have taken the first step to recovery by admitting you have a problem. Great!!! Now get out the phone book and call a opiate addiction program. These people in these clinics are very supportive have counseling and can help you kick the habit. Nobody will judge you and it is completely confidential....Smile keep your chin up and make that call some opiate programs Aegis medical systems, Bi valley, BAART, these people can help!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck!!!! Smile everybody makes mistakes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello to ALL my Caring and Supporting Friends,

I have not posted since July 7th.....I have been going through alot here. I ran out of pills.....I have been on the search and finding a few here and there.....doing them all up and then hurting all over again.
Finally got my script. for 90 percs and here I go again...such a happy camper now.
Such a love-hate relationship with the percocets and cocaine.
The really awful feeling that I have is I want to quit/don't want to quit feeling. I think what will I do without my drugs??? Such a sick feeling in my gut.
I live alone, well with my best friend, my min pin.
I don't have any friends, by choice, and I would not dare tell my family.....they have already been through this with me one time and my parents are in their 80's and they don't need this s--t from me. I would never ever want my children to know either.
This is so bad.....I actually enjoy doing what I do and that is the scary part. I am not so sure I even want to stop. I am really a sad and sick person.

Gotta run...will post back to all that have replied with support real soon.

Love you guys,
Lisa xoxoxo
When you are ready to quit, you will and not before. You are doing what addicts do naturally--using. I'm here for you if you decide you're ready. Don't ever feel hopeless. You CAN quit no matter how many pills you have left. I have a bottle of 40 right now and i am on day 2 of detox. I hope you get clean. If I can, you can too.
HI Lisa! I just want to say how lucky I think you are for finding this board prior to choosing to quit. Just watching the others in here post the withdrawals, and what they have done to help get through it, may be a big help for you when you choose to say "I'm done".

Even though you think people don't know, I would probably bet they have some idea that you are different now then how you were in the past (prior to using Perc).

I am on Day 4 of my W/D, and though I say I'm done with Lortabs, its no guarantee. I totally understand your love hate relationship. Opiates are a fabulous killer of pain... Physically and Emotionally.

Feel free to contact me anytime if you need an online friend!

Good luck on your journey. ;)
Hello to ALL that have shown their Care and Support for me.
I have not posted for quite awhile due to my, out of control, active addiction. I am worse and sick than ever.
I am, definitly, not in a sane state of mind as of this posting.
How attractive am I?
I have been up since Thursday (other than passing out in the computer chair for how long? I don't even know.
Since Thursday I have experienced all of the following.
I have woke up in the computer chair with stem in hand and stuff all over the table and floor and continued on.
I have woke up in the bed with everything laying right beside me and continued on.
My baby, Min Pin, even woke me up when I dosed off in the chair...and once again...I continue on. What???
I don't know what day or time it is unless I look at the corner of my computer.
I have started to halucinate...I know this is from lack of sleep...been here before.
I have not answered my phone in 4 days.
Now let's throw in the rest of my sick addictions...percocets...wine...xanax and anything else I can do.
I sit here thinking about how much I should seek help and in the same thought calling for delivery.
I, also, wonder why am I doing this.

Pray for me
Love you guys,
Theresa
Lisa,

I'm not going to write my story because I don't want you to take the time to read it. You need help NOW! Please, please, please!!! If you can't drive yourself to ER (and it sounds like you can't) call for an ambulance.

Please! You are in desperate need for professional medical treatment. I cry for so many of you but you have really tugged at my heart. You CAN beat this with professional help. Thousands of others have, you WILL, too. You have so much to live for...my gosh...your grandchildren! I, too, am a grama and this is why I'm cleaning up my act. I want to live to see her grow up!

Turn off your computer. Get help now. I don't want you to become another statistic. Please, Lisa. I'm sure many others would agree with me.

We're all behind you!

Love, hugs, prayers and blessings.
A~

:angel:
Worrying about you. :confused: Please post back and let us know how you're doing.

A~

:angel:
Hey lisa i hope you are around to read this and please listen to what ashamed has told you! Im hurting for you and your minpin(i had 4 of them now got a 5th ;) ) and i know how loving they are. You gotta get right, your baby would love to see you sober, able to give him/her a walk everyday and all that good stuff. i hadn't walked my guys for most of the time i was high and now that im sober i walk them all everyday and they LOVE it i think they know i have changed too.
I was just looking at all the posts i had when i was trying and successfully quitting and saw that last post of yours, its scary.

Please Lisa let us know whats going on i fear the worst.
Praying for ya, Mec
Lisa-

I have been an alcoholic since age 18 - I am 51.I have a loving husband, 2 grown daughters, and a lot of people who love me.I have always been very responsible, a model employee, etc. I have tried the past year to quit - AA, herbal remedies, etc. I was sober for 2 weeks, then drank too much and got my first DUI.I finally decided to admit my addiction and told my parents, my close friends, my boss and the women in my Bible Study class at church what was going on.I was shocked at the love and support I received from everyone! It made it so much easier - you see, I was highly functining and people were shocked that I had any problems.I went to court and was sentenced to 4 days in the county jail. It was the worst 4 days of my life, but the best 4 days of my life because it saved my life. I have been sober for 28 days - may not seem like much, but it is the longest I have been sober for 3o years.It feels great to be able to remember what I actually did the night before, not to worry about someone finding my stash of booze, and not to have my husband angry with me for getting drunk. Once you get past the thought that you are not using again, your life will change drastically. But only when YOU decide to change will that change take place. I will hold you in my prayers and have my Bible Study class pray for you. I read a quote by Georg Elliott that siad " It is never too late to be who you might have been". I am going to go back to school <to change profession>.
Lisa,

As Mecan said, I, too, fear the worst. I'm usually a positive person but you're last post terrified me and I've been checking in daily to see if you're OK. I don't like that you haven't written...it scares me.

I hope you know how much support you have here. Please write back, even if a short note, if you are able. We would all like to know how you're doing and want to try and help in any way we can. Words are powerful, friends are powerful...faith is powerful. You CAN beat this with treatment!

God be with you. Many, many prayers and hugs coming your way.

A~

:angel:
hi. I have 152 days clean from nearly 22 years which is half my life addicted to opiates and benzo's. While my bottom was not anything like I had heard about from others , I just woke up one day tired of feeling sick and tired. What started out ad treatment for anxiety and migraines, turned into a dollar coaster of vicodan, percodan, ultram,fioricet,Xanax,klonopin,Ativan,codeine cough medicine, and mixtures of the above. I went into rehab in march, originally to detox from the benzo'd as I detoxed myself off the opiates. Then I decided I needed the 28 days. It changed my life, and while it is much harder than I thought, it is worth it. I am on vacation in Paris at the moment, and woke up with a migraine yesterday. The chemist wanted so badly to push codeine on me, I finally got her to give me aspirin with caffeine, and it worked. I then goigled non opiate pain medecine, and wound up here. There are so few alternatives to opiates! Toradol is terrible for you I am told. It works, but can lead to renal failureand can sometimes mimic opiates in causing the trigger. What seems to work for me has been advil, Tylenol 2 and 2 for a severe pain, or zomig if I catch the migraine in time. I recently started taking topomax which is supposed to prevent migraines, so well see........ I go to meetings not daily but at least 2 x a week. I have 2 friends from rehab whom I speak with everyday, and we keep each other sober.
lizs, I to am a grandmother and have done hydros for years and have took as many as 10 a day I am wd right now and have maybe 2 left i have broke them in half so I do know how you feel. Right now I am shaking and my heart is racing and I feel like the lowest human in the world. I have no advice for you but want you to know I really care and pray for you and like you I wonder how i can stand this. You are not alone and you sound like I do because I have alot to live for. We will do this and maybe if you tell your Dr he will maybe put you on a taper plan. Please hang in there, you are in my prayers and keep me in yours LOL fiesty


Lisa,

Please write us a quick note to let us know how you're doing. I think of you daily!!

Angel hugs,

:angel:
I had the worst addiction to hydrocodiene.I am a straight A student that graduated with straight A's that year. was hooked from the first pill.I took in the upwards of 20 aday (Depending on the milligrams)I have never tried any other drugs but this got me for 10 hard years.I went to atleast 10 or more rehabs and nothing worked.I couldnt function without my pain pills.I thank God that its finally in my past. I also went to jail for calling in prescriptions for myself.I still cant believe that I did that.My liver shut down.I heard about Methadone alot but never tried it.Then I went to an opiate recovery progam and they put me on a low dose of methadone and for the first time ever, I have been a functioning memeber of society for three years.My life is great.Everybody loves to be around me now and I am slowly coming off of Methadone with no problems.I would never let them increase my medication like some people do and thats what helped me.I have heard horror stories abaout methadone but my story hasnt been a horror.Also Its thanks to God first that I have my life back and I will pray for you.:angel:
I was taking 20-30 10 mg Percocets for the last year of a five year addiction. I recently (56 days ago) went to my Primary care Doctor and told her what was going on. She referred me to an addiction Doctor and he started me on Suboxone. Now, there are a lot of stories about coming off Suboxone, but honestly, I have so much relief from it. No more counting pills and dreading running out, no more feeling sick when I run out, no more lying to get pills, no more waiting for hours in ER's or Urgen Dare Clinics for pills and most of all I'm starting to feel like myself again. My program is a long program that will last months and I will be tapered very slowly. I am also in counseling that has been fantastic as well. Your Doctor will NOT be angry or judgemental and will want to do everything they can to help you. My PC cals me once per week to see how I'm doing. Don't be scared, just take the leap and you will be on your way to getting out of your misery. Good luck and don't hesitate to ask for any more help.
I feel your pain. How are you today> I am in the same boat as you. Maybe we can do it together?
Hey Makayla!
Could you start a new thread, and explain whats going on with your situation. There are a lot of ppl who would love to help you. If you start your own and tell us a little bit about whats going on with you, that would be super. That way you have your own story/thread, and ppl can help you more and answer directly to you. Hang in there, it would be nice to hear more about where you are coming from.
xoxoxox,
IZZY'SMOM
I feel for everone who sufferes a percocet addiction, im 23 years old I been where you are allot of you been felt what what you have felt I was taking 20 percocets a day im an addict but i did recover and still in recovery i did it the hard way i ended up in jail for 10 days because i spiraled out of control i was going to different doctors to obtain perceptions i didnt think i had a problem :( I stopped cold turkey didnt have a choice it hurt so badly but i did it im now 20 days clean off them i m in counselling and i do suffer chronic pain so the alternative they gave me was anti inflammatory (naproxen) with acetaminophen it works wonders after drying out from narcotics i still needed something for my back. comming off percocets cold is always the best way everyone is different sometime methadone is needed or rehabilitation and there always support ion the community and so many resorces if you do suffer chronic pain be honest with your doctor about addictions and they will help you! best of luck to all of you my prayers are with you
good morning everyone, i just want to say how helpful and caring everyone on here is, outsandiing support, c in my case i cant talk to anyone because of my situation, my hubby is a dr. and live in a small town so i feel trapped, word gets out and i am a dark horse, but my hubby is very supportive and knows the deal he used yrs ago has been clean for 7yrs now and wants the same for me, but i have to do it quitetly, like i cant even talk to my dr. cause hes a good friend of ours, so i am on my own and trying very hard to do this, i started tapering last wk and so far so good, i have hight hopes i can do this cause i havent bought anything for a wk now (saved lots of money already), but near the end and feeling good but i am scared something might happen and go back but i have done so well on my own this wk , so determined to do this and please pray that i can do it cause i have only my hubby to talk to and now u guys thank god for that.l..ty for reading my story...
well i,ll say this-

it is so easy to get those doses reallly high and not evan get the minimal relief we originally sought. this is what i do, ont he 4th week, a week before my next pm visit i titrate down to 0 to lower my resisitance. this has kept me at the same dose and is working well. I take 100mg mscontin er twice day w 10/325 percoset for bt pain, i find by letting the meds leave my system for a few days to e very beneficial to my pain relif in all as i do not want to take anything stronger. its a medical fact you will become tolerant but i dont believe a higher dose is the answer. if you deviate from folling the presrcibed dose and take more you will be in trouble quick. by doing this method i am able to have a few days of unused med for a rainy day.

best wishes
hi all -
just started reading this thread. Has anyone heard from Lisa? Lisa if you are reading this, i hope you are ok! your story really moved me and also made me worry and want to help. i posted a version of my update in another chain, but here is a lil bit of my story too....
I, too, have a mean percocet addiction of several years... 6 maybe? maybe more.. im also a chronic pain patient (im 35) due to migraines and degenerative disk disease and i fell into the trap of eventually taking them cause they feel good not just for my pain. I usually blow through my script like u... i get 150 of the perc 10/325 and they are gone in like 2 weeks and then when i actually need them for a pain situation, they are gone. it's no way to live.
i just got my week sober... but then injured my back. i actually waited a week, took no pills or anything and then finally got cortizone shots to help with the pain (and more so to help with the amount of pills i knew i'd have to take as the pain has just gotten worse). The past 3 days I have had to take a small amount of pills when the pain has just gotten to be too much so i can physically function (i am moving and am in the middle of packing). BUT i am actually controlling my intake cause i have finally had enough. And boy is it HARD to not take more than what i need for the pain, but i just have to keep my head on straight. for me, i reached a point where i had enough, it just clicked in my brain where i just felt sick of being sick and out of control. where i just need to be sober. you can give yourself that power back too sweetie. it's a hard road for sure, but it gets easier and surely ends up easier than the place you were in when you initially posted.

you sound like you have the desire too, to change things up. just fear is stopping you, which i'll bet everyone on this board has had to struggle with especially as they take those first steps. you are not alone. not at all. and you shouldn't feel ashamed. these things happen... and they can happen to good people, hon! so dont get down on yourself. none of us should.
I've also used coke while on pills (i dont think i've admitted that to the board yet)... i dont have an issue with it like what i have happening with the percs... but if im intoxicated, i'll do it and do it til it's gone. no matter how much is there. i try to avoid places where it is but the only thing that SUPER keeps that in check for me is my fiance who HATES coke and basically forbids me to do it... especially while i struggle with pills since that mix is so dangerous. i didn't like admitting that, but it does feel good. and i'm sure it will help with my recovery.
please post and let us know if you are ok. all of us struggle, have embarrassments, fall off the horse etc... but this board is really lovely because so many people care and will be there for you through and give you great advice. they have all been through it too, so you dont have to feel alone. sometimes when i feel alone or scared, i post or just read the board to help me focus on my goal. especially now while i try hard not to abuse my meds right now and stop them as soon as I can.
it's never too late to look back into that center you found, or to tell your doctor, or delete contacts from your phone so it's harder to get drugs. All this is easier said than done, but as you take these little steps things WILL get easier andn your steps will eventuallly grow larger and more confident. and that feeling (as cheesy as it sounds) is better than any drug... when you start to get back into the world again. that's a fantastic high, i promise. keep taking steps to get there.:)
if you can, let this board help give you some strength.
thinking of you! (sorry i rambled... looks like i needed to get some things off my chest too. :)
be safe
wendy88
Addiction is a terrible disease - people who have never dealt with it do not understand it.I was a highly functioning alcoholic for32 years.I hid it well from everyone(except my family, WHO i HURT SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE OF IT).The day I was arrested for DUI I was almost 3 time over the limit.How easily I could have killed someone or myself. It was the best thing that ever happened to me - it forced me to deal with my alcoholism.
But you will find that once you are off the addictive substance for 30 days, you feel like a new person!And the funny thing is that you can not believe how good it feels to be sober! I always dreaded the thought of life without alcohol.
Now I wish I had stopped years ago.I am back in school and studying for Hospice nursing.
Get with your doctor- trust me, they have many cases like this and if you have a good doctor will do everything to help you. You can do this - we are are pulling for you and I am praying for you!YOU CAN DO IT
There are some really good tips on how to prepare to withdraw on this site. I was addicted to 10 to 15 mil of percocet or vicodin. Saturday night I went cold turkey on my own with the help of my husband. It was extremly painful and I was not prepare as well as I could of had I read this site. With some Motrin, asprin and hot bath when it was too much to bear, 4 days into the withdraw I am feeling much better. As long as you really want to quit and you read up and have help you can be more confortable that I was. You can always taper down slower than I did. By the way this was extremly low daily dose at one year + so your withdraw could be a bit more severe. The most important thing is make up you mind a do something.
hi there, congrats on your great journey, i am so proud of you, withdrawal is a hard thing to do, however in my case i have been drug free from my own tapering for over 30 days now, and boy it was hard but with the will power you can do it, i am happy for those who choose to be drug free cause its a road to no end, and like you said , you have to really want it to get it and it looks like we both did it and wow a dream come true...keep up the good work cause early recovery is still hard and with all the support on here we can do all together...congrats again and prayers and support to you always,...take care and stay strong....
I am taking more. I want to quit. it took a while to quit drinking,but God and I did it. 24 hours at a time. Since I have crohn's,I could go to a pain clinic and get an rx. The bad part is I need to have a permanant colostomy and rectal removal soon. I must get off these,so when he discharges me with the meds he gives me will work. I must do this and soon. Please keep helping me.
good morning young50, so nice to hear from you, and of course your challenges your facing, unfortunately percocet is one of the hardest drug to come off of in my opinion, however i have been off since April 6th or so and it certainly can be done cause if i can do it anyone can, i still cant believe i did it though, shocking but having it in your head and heart you CAN do it hun but you have a situation that perhaps prevents you right now and thats ok, i hope everything goes well for you and your proceedure, but what i know is that you will know when your ready and only until then will it work, you have to be pain free almost, so maybe after your proceedure things might be a whole lot better for you and you may be ready cause this pill is vicious and it tells your brain that its ok and thats the part you have to be strong to do it, i kinda explain it like a monster in your head that always wants to be fed, but what we have to do is starve the dam monster!....let me know how you are doing and i will be thinking of you, in my prayer always hun,,take care and i know you will be ok one day soon i hope.....hugs..xox
Through those tears you will find answers. Those tears will soften your heart, and help start your mind healing so that answers will come. You have taken the first major step--you admitted your problem, your addiction. Now research your options for getting the help. Tell your doctor--he will be able to refer you to someone, a professional, who will help you. Doctors are there not to condemn you, but to help heal you. There are many who will offer you support, and help you along your way. You can beat this, and regain control of your life, regain your dignity. It does not make you a bad person--you merely slipped up. After all, you are human.





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