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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hello Lisa

To tackle addiction is to tackle a lot of fear. Fear of the secret being out, fear of the withdrawal, fear of life without the pills. Oh, I know these fears well because I was addicted to opiates and to Xanax. Those fears grow and grow until they become like an out of contol cancer in our very souls.Like you, my use spiraled and with it, my entire life spiraled downward as well.

How do we get out of the horrible circles we are running in? We face the fear and do what we have to. And that first fear is spilling the story to our doctor. Lisa, I can not tell you the huge relief that comes once we find the courage to do this. Oh, of course I cried and sobbed and felt humiliated and embarrassed.... and you know what? It was all self-imposed! The only thing my doctor wanted to do was help me... and he did! I left his office that day with more hope than I knew could be possible. I left feeling 50 lbs lighter with so much of the fear gone. I left with HOPE.

I am clean for over a year now. My life is calm, it is happy, it is no longer filled with demons of fear. I don't miss the pills and I sure don't miss the life I was living in them. It took a year of tapering, first from Ocycodone and then from Xanax. Yes, it was difficult, really hard, at times. However, as I moved along, it became more and more possible. I totally hated the withdrawal at times, but I knew it was my only chance to live, truly live, again and I wanted it more than anything. I wanted my [U]life[/U] back, and I have it again.

Lisa, print out your thread and hand it to the doctor if you don't feel you can get the words out. Our doctors can only help us best when all the information is truly disclosed. Please, please, take a leap of faith here and belive that those who have gone before you understand what is happening in your head and know what has to be done. Put the brakes on the downward spiral and begin today to find the restored life that is waiting for [U]you[/U].

With all hope and care

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