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Hello out there,

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months, a good relationship but not without its challenges. When we started dating, I suspected that he had an alcohol problem, but we're both in college and I wrote it off as him being a partier.

A few months later, I realized I was not comfortable with his drinking (the frequency, but mostly the fact that after having a couple beers, he won't stop drinking until he's wasted), not a totally difficult realization since I don't really like the person he becomes when he's drunk anyway.

Since then, he's doing better. He drinks less frequently, but I feel like when he does I have to "watch" how much he drinks, and tell him to slow down or stop if it's too much (I can easily tell when it's been too much - his voice and demeanor change). I feel like I'm his mom, and I worry when he goes out with his friends - they have a tendency to egg each other on about drinking until they're all completely obliterated.

I guess my big question is, how concerned should I be? What is a healthy level for him to drink? He enjoys (good) beer, and I dont want to take that away from him. Is he "allowed" to get drunk sometimes, if he has been "good" for a while? Should he not be drinking at all? Should he talk to someone other than me or his family? It's affecting the relationship because I don't want to control him, but I want him to be healthy and make good decisions for himself.

I have no clue. Please help.

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