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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Its now October 2008! This happened starting in January 2008~ It all started with recreational use by taking 3 or 4 Watson Hydrocodone 10/650's.. I never even heard of them, as I am a good kid, never do drugs.. my friend said, hey try these they will make you feel great!~ I used them for an occasional high maybe three times a week- at night. I then started taking them more and more, it went from occasionally at night, to taking them every night, then starting them about lunch time.. I used to could just take around 5 a day starting at lunch, and still have a high around bedtime at say 2am.. I have NEVER taken over 9 of these pills in a 24 hour period.. Now I have started for sure taking them everyday for a total of 4 months.. EVERYDAY! I try to stick to around 5, but I have a short time high, and 5 is now what it takes to stay away from withdrawals per day!

I can use 5 and not have withdrawals, starting the first one in the a.m., finishing the last one at bedtime. This has taken over my life! I am spending so much money a month on this, and I don't even enjoy it.. I just can't handle the withdrawals.. THEY ARE TERRIBLE! I have tried it going atleast two days, and then relapse.. I tell myself everytime, oh I will stop tomorrow.. It never happens.. They are going to start soon, and hit me hard.. I don't know what to do.. I can't go to rehab, and I just need something to continue a normal life, and not get withdrawals, but stop using! Should I do it cold turkey and just suffer, or do you recommend me trying suboxone? or should I go to the e.r. and tell them whats up? I just can't handle the withdrawal at all or I will keep on and on.. I don't want that, I don't want to get in trouble or worse death!
OK --first take a DEEP BREATH. Now --Take another. LOL. Welcome and congrats on making a great decision to start the road to Cleandom. You are not alone in ANY sense. All our stories are the same in one sense, the pills took a hold of us and we cant let go because of the withdrawals. I am a true believer that if the pills didnt have withdrawals attached to them then we could all shake the nasty addiction that comes along with it. As far as you saying that you can handle the "WD's", you are wrong. There is no easy way, but you can do it. If you look back over my LONG journey (i am 8 months clean now) you will see 6 relapses with a variety of different ways to get through withdrawals (cold turkey, other pills, alcohol) all ways that made it a little bearable, but the BOTTOM LINE is that you need to WANT it. I have never made it this far and its because of NA and the fact that I wanted to stay clean. Its only a few days of discomfort for a lifetime of joy. Have you told anyone about your problem. Let us know more.

Great job --D

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