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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

I started abusing perscription drugs in 2002....things like percocet, darovcet, vicodin. This was not a recreational thing from the start. I have had stomach pain on and off since then that is pretty severe. I am pretty sure i have had every stomach test known to man and I still dont know whats wrong. First I had a horrible doctor who was careless and went from the lighter narcotics, to things like morphine and the patches. This led me upto a breakdown in 2004. In May 2004 I went into a psych ward to detox. I then followed up with three months of outpaintent addiction therapy. For a while I was ok. Now I do have to say that i have been married since 2004 and have a 7yr old stepson. She has stood by me through everything. About a year ago I started to have bad pain again and started using the narcotics again. It has been on and off since then. I left my wife to "get some space" in June and she is still at my beckon call. I told her I left to get over my addiction, but I didnt believe that i was dealing with one at the time. Now that I have had my own place, I realize that it is still controlling my life. I get painkillers on and off, drink a bit (but not obsessivly), and was recently diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall 10mg, and Xanex prn. I have been trying to take these responsibly and Im still not even sure if i need them. But i continue to go through tests on my stomach and abuse the painkillers. About 20 percocet 5mg a day if i can get my hands on them. I know I have a problem and want it to stop, but I don't know where to start. I dont feel like I can be a good husband or stepdad until i can control this thing. I guess Im just asking where to start or what to do......Im at a loss...Thanks......

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