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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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I take Motrin or Tylenol. It takes the edge off so it is managable. I put heat on my neck a lot and I use this stuff called BioFreeze. As long as I stretch my neck daily and do breathing exercises to relax, I can usually hold the really bad pain off. If I don't get a good night's sleep, I am screwed!! I think the combination of Trazadone and Amitriptyline that I take at night enables me to get the rest I need. I am on 25 mg. of Amitriptyline and 50 mg. of Trazadone. If I wasn't on both of these meds, I would never get to sleep. I have been on these meds for probably 15 years, and it works for me.

I think your neck issues are worse than mine. I really hope someone can help you though. There is nothing worse than being in pain all of the time. It sucks to have the feeling that your head weighs 30 pounds and your neck is trying to hold it up, right?

Let us know how the doc appt goes. Take care, TaCot
10sox and MK

Thank you for your posts. I feel very very confused about both posts and and am very mixed up right now. My thoughts are constantly on my pain as that is all I feel right now. I used to be able to get my mind off of it and go ahead and do my housework, make dinner. I always loved to shop and haven't been out of the house in at least a month (maybe a few times and came back home as I couldn't take the pain being out). What is wrong with me that I can't get it out of my mind (which is very very strong after what I have been through in my withdrawl program and all of my chronic pain). My family pats me on the back constantly and friends also tell me "constantly" that I am so brave and that they are so proud of me!!!!!

I have been judged by my family for years every time I put a "pain killer" in my mouth (not my immediate family even though at times I don't think they understood completely) but they tried to understand. I am talking about my husband and 27 year old son and 36 year old daughter. They know more than anyone how much pain I am in but didn't want me to get addicted either and I felt like they were always questioning me but also supporting me at the same time. My husband came with me to the GP's office when he wanted to put me on oxycontin or oxycodone as the doc wrote me a script because the "vicodin" wasn't strong enough and I needed something for afternoon breakthrough pain. My husband said "no" but then came to the doc's office with me and he talked my husband into it by saying that I needed it to control my pain for a good quality of life so I got it filled. I wasn't on it that long and then he added Xanax which they took me off of also. Now I am only on "Neurontin" and "Cymbalta"!!!!

My family and my husband's family however I don't think ever understood or understand now "my pain". Sorry my Mother in law was always the worst critic judging and talking about me (unfortunately) behind my back to the rest of the family who always made rude comments either back to her and of course they got back to me or would just say them in front of me. My mother in law and I are close and she loves me but that doesn't stop her from unfortunately "insulting" me constantly.
First of all my family and my husbands family all live in Canada, outside of Toronto and it is well known that they don't give out pain pills so freely in Canada so that was definitely something to run me down about. We moved to Michigan almost 17 years ago and nobody liked that so it seems like any chance to run down the U.S. doctor's care they will.
I am so sorry I could go on and on. My family never really said much but have of course been worried about me over the years. When I got diagnosed with "Fibromyalgia" my MIL was the first one to say that there is no such thing of course!!!! She has chronic pain also (knee replacement, hip replacement, arthritis, etc. and insomnia) but...they just tell them to take Tylenol in Canada and it still doesn't touch her pain. If she was given pain pills by the doc. over there and she had to take them, she probably would. I guess I have a big mouth and shouldn't have told anyone but.... I never thought I was doing anything wrong as I am in pain but the comments that have gone back and forth over the years I couldn't take anymore.

Now my family and my husbands family are very very happy. Yay Lyn has gone through withdrawl and she is off the pain killers and at Christmas everyone thought I looked great, I had lost 25lbs. because of the "hell" I had been through in the withdrawl clinic and afterwards but at Christmas I was also on the last few crumbs of my "suboxone". 2 days before New Years while I was back home in Michigan I went off my suboxone and have gone through hell for the last 32 days .....about 20 days in horrible withdrawl and flu like symptoms, restless legs, insomnia, shaking, moody, irritable, anxious and nobody saw that or knows or understands how I feel in fact nobody has hardly even talked to me from Canada.

Now they can all leave me alone because they got their wish, I am off of drugs!!!!!!! There is no stigmatism attached to me anymore so they can leave me alone and move on to talk about someone else.

Here I sit alone and in "Chronic Pain" and living my own hell with Myofascial Pain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Epstein Barr Virus, CMV Virus, TMJ, Fibromyalgia and very very tired from Insomnia and have to process this all!!!! My doctor gave me some Lorezepam a few weeks ago to settle me down and I am asked by my family every day if I have taken one because the doc said it was a controlled script. He gave me 60 and I have taken in the last 3 weeks about 15 of them, even to try and fall asleep. I won't take them because I am afraid of them. I go to a new neurologist next Tues. and then to the pain clinic next Friday to get test shots to burn the nerves in my neck which I have had done before. They lasted for about 6 months and then they grow back again. I guess I will have to get that done for the rest of my life, who knows??????

Thanks for your concern and take care all. I am so sorry that this post is so long.

Lyn :angel:
10Sox and Secrets

Thank you for your kind and soothing words. Yes I am very confused. I can't think straight about any of it, I just am looking forward to my Neurologist's appt. and to going to the Pain Clinic next Friday. Hopefully they can find something wrong that they can help me with. This all started out 9 years ago with bad neck pain. The first thing the neurologist I was seeing then started treating me for a bad carrotted (sp) artery. I have gone down hill from there being diagnosed with everything and being helped with nothing!!!!!
I know the burning of the nerves is going to help a bit because I have had it done before but it certainly didn't take all of my pain away. I am trying to be positive but with the lack of sleep and the pain I am in it is difficult. It is also very difficult to try and hide the pain from your family and I don't think I should have to. The last time (at Christmas) I was at my mother in laws house and she actually said to me (what is wrong with your neck, it was OK the last time I saw you)!!!!! I cannot sit on the couch or a chair, I have to lay down to watch tv almost even to survive, I have been wearing my neck brace to sit at the computer and type. I am trying everything. I was kind of laying down when I was talking to her and could hardly get up. When she said, your neck was OK last time I saw you and yes this time also, I was still on the "suboxone" and it wasn't hurting me as bad as it is now. She says "Can't you take something for the pain". I was sooooo upset at that comment, like she forgot what I was going through already and how much pain I have had for the last 9 years.
To clear up things, no....I do not have an addictive personally one single bit....that I am 100% sure of......I took the pills because the doctor gave me prescriptions for them and that is all.....yes it did mask the pain and I didn't realize how much until I got off of everything. I don't want to go back on them, yes I do worry what people think of me but they are not feeling my pain. I decided to stop taking the narcotics when my system went into "withdrawl" for 6 months. The doc was prescribing re-quip for restless legs and I was going crazy until I realized one day that it was withdrawl and I could have stopped it if I upped my dosage. My doctor would have let me in a heartbeat but I didn't want to take more. I went to the office to talk to my doc. and he had been in a car accident. He never came out of the coma he was in, in the hospital for 2 weeks and died in there.
The new doc. put my system in "rock bottom" condition by trying to help me wean off my pills at home. She told me to switch my afternoon vicodin for breakthrough pain to an 8 hour tylenol. My system was already in a withdrawl from the drugs giving me restless legs. The 8hr tylenol put my body in so much stress it was hell and that is when my doctor's office sent me to the "addictionolgist" to check me into the "withdrawl clinic".
I am just trying to clear up my story. There is so much more that I have been through but it is on the other boards. I am sorry my posts are so long and thank you everyone for your thoughts.
Thanks again Lyn

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