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Hello Everyone,

I just wanted to share my story with other kind people here, since there's hardly anyone whom I can trust would listen *and understand* me in "real life".

Maybe for about 7 or so years I've been having mild anxiety attacks here and there (usually brought upon by slightly excessive drinking on the weekends). Up until about 4 months ago, I've dealt with them by brushing things off, having another beer, pushing myself very hard the gym (been wrestling for years) and simply enjoying life.

So 4 months ago, things got rough (as I probably grew older, and drinking with friends became harder on the body), and work and stress have finally got the best of me.
I've decided to see a doctor and was prescribed xanax, in what I know now to be a ridiculous amounts (i.e. 3.5mg/day) ... luckily I only took them for less than 8 weeks as it became clear to me that this stuff is slowly destroying me.

That was the first time I've experienced a combination of alcohol and benzo withdrawal. It was pure hell, which lasted only a week or so... but it was a week I would not wish upon my worst enemies.
I went to see another doc, who quickly switched me over to less potent benzo to help with anxiety and WD.

At that point I thought I was at the end of my days..., yet things got better. Suddenly and surprisingly they just got better. I was back to my old happy (I'm naturally a very happy and laid back person) self.
I continued the medication, as prescribed, and lowered my dosage rather quickly, without major WD or any side effects.
I stayed on a low dose 0.5 - 0.75mg/day (as opposed to 3.5mg/day) and enjoyed life to the fullest. Went on trips, went out drinking with friends was full-force at the gym, etc., etc.... The sun never shined brighter.

I guess it was all too good to be true....
For reason unknown to me, I went on a retarded drinking binge (like I was in college)... and in just a week I turned my life upside down.

I discontinued the medication prior and then stopped drinking, because I realized what serious problem I actually have (I knew it before, just thought I was invincible)... and the hell started again... today is day 3 and there's no glimmer of hope in sight.

So here I am an alcoholic and benzo addict trying to just let it out, because nobody else cares, listens or I am way to embarrassed to tell the truth.

Please forgive the long post...





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