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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


[B]Redrock,[/B] well I hope at least your trip is for pleasure and not work. I went to CA last year to visit a friend, and I found myself aggravated with everything she said or did. By the end of the trip, I said to myself "I'll never stay with her again!". Now, I've been friends with her for 10 years and stayed many times with her -- why suddenly does she get on my nerves so bad? Oh that's right -- [I]everything[/I] and [I]everyone[/I] get on my nerves now. I am a mean, miserable wench. Gotta think, what's the difference between now and a few years ago....hmmm, taking a lot more of an endorphin-suppressing narcotic.....as the dose goes up, I become more of a b*tch.

I don't have any friends that I'd trust to tell, much less hold the drug and dole it out to me (besides the obvious logistical problems with that). I was going to ask my son to do it -- until he told me a few months ago HE was hooked on heroin and had raided my pills occasionally. He's living with me and off drugs (as far as I know) but I'm trying to hide my continued use from him. I don't want him to know (for sure) that I have anything in the house. Which means, I also can't tell him I'm tapering, and going through WD symptoms, and that's why Mom is pretty much incapacitated these days.

So you guys are IT -- my sole confidante! And really, it's more meaningful to have you guys because you all have been there...or are still there. No one who hasn't been through this can understand. My one girlfriend had Percocet prescribed after surgery; she took one and "didn't like the way it made me feel"....she knew I took pain pills so she gave the rest to me. The only snippet of information I might share with a couple friends is that I'm cutting down on the pain meds and that's why I'm not able to do much lately....though it doesn't explain why half the time I don't even answer their calls.

Well, gotta stop blathering and get something accomplished around here now that I've taken my noon dose. Isn't it sad that I have to rush to "do things" before the drug starts wearing off. Pathetic....hate it. Anyway, [B]Redrock,[/B] I hope that you are able to enjoy your trip and I will look forward to giving you positive news upon your return -- fingers crossed!





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