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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hi Secrets,
Thank you, firtst, for the support you have given me. I appreciate it so much!
Have hope that your obsession will be removed.
My story with alcohol may give you hope:
A little over 4 years ago, my husband of 13 years left for another woman half his age and married her. I started drinking…every day, earlier and earlier in the day. I was consuming about a liter of vodka every 2 days and I started using Lortab again though I had put them down and been clean for several months. For well over a year, closer to 2 years, actually, I drank myself to sleep every night and got up shaky every morning, taking pills to help get me going. I’d say I was a functioning alcoholic. I didn’t miss appointments, work or kids activities, but I did drive drunk a few times, and that scared the heck out of me even as I was doing it. I wasn’t able to go a night without drinking, even if I had to drive an hour and a half to find a place open. Every day, my thoughts centered around whether or not I needed to run to the liquor store. All the while, I thought of the three of my four grandparents who all died alcoholics and was scared for my future. The alcohol scared me worse than being on the hydro. I was also scared I’d just not wake up one morning, my kids would find me dead, and then they’d learn the truth about their druggie, alcoholic mom. I went to an AA meeting in a town away from mine (I wanted privacy). Everyone was very supportive and said they were surprised to see me there BEFORE anything tragic had happened on account of my drinking. Most only come after they’ve lost things very important to them or are forced by the courts. Hearing all their stories scared me. Though it was the only AA meeting I ever went to, I quit the alcohol that night. For the first couple of weeks, it was a struggle. But, the desire faded pretty quickly, and I’ve had maybe 3 drinks in the year and a half since I put it down and no desire to pick up alcohol again.

I must have faith for all of us that the death of the obsession will be a reality just like it was with the alcohol for me!

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