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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


Addiction & Recovery Board Index


I abused opiates (primarily oxycodone, heroin and hydromorphone) along with heavy benzodiazapine and alcohol use for the majority of my adult life. Drugs were my life. For the past 5 years I made many futile attempts to get clean (psychiatry, religion, family, isolating, etc.) and, for me personally, none of these methods were sufficient. Suboxone was the only route of recovery I had not taken. Two years ago I decided to take the Suboxone method and I thank God every day I did. The first requirements for taking Suboxone were counseling, drug screens and lots of meetings. My doctor explained to me that Suboxone alone was not a magic bullet to cure opiate addiction but a way to clear your mind of the mental obsession that addicts such as myself have become accustomed to, so that I could build my own program of recovery to keep me clean after Suboxone. At AA/NA meetings I feared people would look down on me for taking Suboxone, but I never experienced any discrimination, only love and acceptance. After mustering up the courage to get a sponsor, my sponsor told me that the only as long as I was taking Suboxone as directed, and not getting high off of it, that this issue was between my doctor and I. He told me I should read "The Doctor's Opinion" in the AA Big Book, and that revealed a lot of light on the matter. I took a maintanance dose of two 8mg tabs a day for a almost a year and after feeling strong enough in my recovery, decided to begin tapering myself off 2 mg at a time (very slowly). Today, after two years, I am still working a program of recovery, chairing meetings, going to college to become a chemical dependency counselor and living life as I want to live (rather than how a drug wants me to live) and I feel I wouldn't be where I am today without Suboxone. In my opinion I have been clean for these two years, even though I took Suboxone for over a year of the two years. In the past two years my lifestyle has been nothing like the life I lived as an active addict. I haven't used any narcotics (besides Suboxone) or alcohol. Suboxone never gave me that rush or euphoria I got from the illicit drugs I was using. Don't beat yourself up for being on Suboxone, it sounds like your on the right track.
Hello Kew,

My name is Beverley and am a recovering addict. My addiction was LIQUID MORPHINE which my surgeon put me on for my chronic physical ilnesses. Anyway 16mths ago i went into detox for 10 day's and got off the stuff and they put me on 8mgs of suboxone "BAD MOVE" but never told me it was more addictive than heroin??? I was only on a low dose and tapered right down to 1mg and fell apart to the point i was near deaths door with my chronic withdrawals so i went to my doc and he had to put me on METHADONE 25mgs to stop what was happening to me. But ur question about being in recovery well "YES" your classed as a recovering addict. It doesn't matter if ur on the sub or meth ur still classed as a recovering addict because ur not using as such!!
Sorry im probarly not explaining it properly to you. Your a bit hard on urself,you should give urself a pat on the back and say welldone have been clean for 2months and should bevery proud of ur acomplishment as it's a big one. Also never feel alone in ur recovery as there are many people to talk to about allof this. The only negative thing that ive come accross is the stigma of being a DRUG ADDICT!!! It's like when i used to go into my pharmacy to get my morp they treated me like a queen then when i went on the sub programme they turned on me and have treated me like shit to put it politely but now if there nasty i get nasty back as we should not be treated with any disrespect as we are trying to stop using drug's and they should look at it that way. If you need any advice or need to talk please let me know and i will be there for you.

sincerly,

damagedgoods41...............:confused::wave::dizzy::eek:

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hi Kewood,

I've read several of your posts and it seems you've struggled with opiate addiction in one form or another for quite some time now. I was an intravenous heroin and cocaine user for almost twelve years, and one thing I learned was that substituting one thing for another never worked for me. I never went to rehab, never did any of that; when I was FINALLY ready in my LIFE to be done with using, I eliminated all drug dealer numbers from my phone, threw away all OCs in the house, and locked myself up for a week with a ton of food in the fridge so I didn't have to go out. The thing about addiction is that while support CAN be helpful for some people, the ultimate decision to be done with them has to come from inside of YOU. You have to be in a place in your life where you're no longer willing to be a slave to the drugs. These health boards have been IMMENSELY helpful with other issues I've had, and you can indeed find all the support you need to quit right here, but I don't believe using one thing to wean yourself off of another thing does anything at all except create another addiction. When I got off the needle, I never felt more physically horrible in all my life. I wanted to die in that house for about five days, but I thought of what a life without addiction would be like the whole time, and it spurned me on. You WILL be sick. There's NO way to beat an opiate addiction without bearing the consequences. Cold turkey is the ONLY way to go, in my opinion, but you have to have balls of solid rock and be willing to go the distance. The end result will be SO much better. I've gotten my health back, my family, my old friends, and my old life. Are there days I still think about how good that needle and spoon would be? Damn right. It never goes completely away, but I think about it less and less as the years go by. I've replaced my addictions with a new will to live a better life, a new desire to find beauty in everything, and you will, too. We're here if you ever need to talk, my friend.





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