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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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I am new to this board here and I would like to avoid being scolded for posting in the wrong place, but I am stuck in a bad place between the 2. I am a herion/drug/alcohol addict that had 16 years of clean time, due to a series of injuries/surgeries and cronic pain over the last 2 years I have relapsed starting with a beer with meds, then not taking meds as directed. Yesterday it all came to a head with my brain losing all common sense and being out of pain meds I turned to the streets and bought some Norco, after eating about 13 of these I was ready to score some dope or oxy. Somehow I got thru the day with just the Norco, today its gone and tomorrow I will have to visit the doctor to tell them of my ordeal. At this point my back is the source of my pain, I am/was on about 10 percocet a day and for the last month I weened myself off of 50mg of morphine a day to 0, then went to 25 mg phen patch which went up to 50mg patch for the last 3 weeks, on Friday I just tore the patch off an forgot about it, by Sat I was insane with cravings, pain and stupidity, the kind that tells you 1 good dose and you can quit/stop. I have lost a lot of friends due to that "one last fix" syndrome, so I would have to say I am lucky to be typing on this computer right now....... The only thing I can do right now is wait for 24 hours tell the doc what is going on and see what their idea is cause I am retarded at this point and will have to trust them to get me through this. I have never stopped using drugs before except by force(prison) so I hope to not go down that road, I am just venting at this point and I would like to get advice without the scolding that I posted in wrong forum, thanks.
Thanks for the words of encouragement perky, after a day of weakass klonadine and the longest 24 hours they put me on the suboxone which seems to be great except I know that I have just traded one for another. There seems to be alot of upside though.....I am not going through a cycle of poping pills that I have built up a strong tolerence for which seemed to be endless, thoughts of getting "high" are gone and my psych is much better, of course my wife just ran out of her meds and we are NOT on the same page, she is not an addict like I am but has been on norco for a year now and has tapered down with me but now she is out and I am good........this is nice just to vent crap here as I have not been to a meeting in forever and nobody really knows of my dirty secret....this will probably change this morning as I think I have to go to a meeting to get todays dose.
So I stopped eating the box on Fri, Sat I ate 4 Norco, some relief, Sun I ate 8 norco, I did not get twice the relief. I don't know if its the box or just my opiate tolerance, but the pain only gets slightly reduced so today I will try not to eat anything. I have been to a bunch of meetings last week and while I am an addict, most of the torment/troubles I been dealing with has been a result of not following doctors instructions. I had no idea how powerful the phen patch was, and stoping cold turkey was one of the dumbest things ever. Right now I need to see what happens if I don't do anything if I will have any issues, thanks to all that have replied, this has helped alot.
sopm,
question for you.....do you really feel the effects of the norco while still taking suboxone or since you've just been off the sub since Friday? Suboxone has a REALLY long half life, something like 37.5 hours for every 2 or 4mg? I forgot what the actual equation is, someone else around here may know. I'd be surprised if you could actually feel any of the percocet since you still likely have quite a dose of suboxone in your body. You were on 12mg a day right or was it 6mg?
Anyway, I'm really sorry you're in such pain. It seems like you are just desperately trying anything you can to get out of the pain which is comepletely understandable but also scary. I don't want to see you get so desperate you just take whatever and lots of it to get rid of the pain....talk to your doc and if you don't like the advice you get, find another doc!

thinking of you and wishing you well,
KEW





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