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Drinking again
Nov 22, 2009
I recently relapsed on heroin and got off it pretty quickly and and back on my suboxone regimen for now. I'm not taking any other illegal drugs or even prescription pills besides suboxone, but I have been drinking again maybe 3x a week. I tend to get really hungover too, even if I don't even feel very drunk or just have maybe 3 drinks the whole night. Of course, I am a small girl, but 3 doesn't seem like enough to give me such killer hangovers. I think my boyfriend has a drinking problem. I don't think he's a full-blown alcoholic and he doesn't drink daily, but he seems to have the "itch" that I have. He drinks a lot and never seems drunk but whenever I bring it up he gets really defensive about it. Apparently, I keep bringing it up when I'M drunk, calling HIM an alcoholic. He said that this has to stop and that part of our relationship needs to change or he will probably break up with me if I keep bringing it up over and over again. The thing is, I've never seen him get so defensive about anything before, so I have a feeling I'm right. I know I shouldn't be drinking, but it's hard not to when you're surrounded by people who think it's totally normal and drink like normal college kids (a lot). I don't know what advice I'm looking for exactly, I just wanted to sort of vent and tell on myself. I don't know if my boyfriend has an alcohol problem or not or if I'm just projecting or if we both have an alcohol problem. Is it possible for me to stay sober while he continues to get drunk at parties every weekend or am I kidding myself and that's going to be a miserable existence? I admit, it's hard to have a boyfriend who drinks. It makes it seem "normal" and like it's not a big deal when I do it, even though I'm always hungover and he never is. That's one of his "proofs" that I have a drinking problem, not him, because I'm always hungover and he never is, but I think he just has lucky body chemistry. Now that I type this out, it seems very dysfunctional. I'm not allowed to express anymore concern or he'll break up with me apparently. But he does seem to look for beer as soon as we go somewhere, he never spends money on anything but he'll buy booze, and he works at a liquor store. Am I being dumb? I keep telling myself "heroin was my problem," but obviously alcohol is a problem too if I can't seem to drink without being hungover the whole next day. I don't want to leave my boyfriend, I like him so much and he is not ever abusive, but I do have a feeling not drinking with him would be hard and he is obviously not going to change and feels he has no problem whatsoever.

Sorry so long, felt good to get that out. Any advice or words welcome.





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