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Addiction & Recovery Message Board


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First of all, I need to clarify something. I in no way am judging anyone on this forum, and I certainly hope my words do not appear so. I simply wan to tell my story.
I've suffered with chronic back pain for over 15 years now. I tried all the conservative treatments, but eventually ended up using pain meds such as Vicoden and Percoset. In 96 I had my first spinal surgery. 97 I had a spinal fusion with titanium BAK implants put in. I understand it was almost 10 hr surgery. Following the surgery, I found myself still needing pain meds, and eventually ended up on the vic, percoset, etc. daily. From there I started using oxycontin. My dose was only increased 2 times, I think in a 10 yr period. I didn't seem to find much relief even with the oxy. I was then given Fentanyl 75 duragesic, changed every 48 hrs., and oxy 30 twice daily for breakthrough. Still did not have relief. My Dr. also gave me the Fentanyl "suckers" for quick pain relief. Still, didn't notice much change.
Last year, I decided to try to go off all my pain meds, and then possibly when I had a bad attack, the vicoden or percoset would work more effectively. This pas year, I learned what it was like to have a kidney stone-actually over 5-7 of them. I've had 2 stents, 4 unsucessful attempts to laser or lithrotripsy, and many ER or hospitalizations. This delayed my attempt to go off pain meds.
App. 5 weeks ago, I felt it was time. I tried to "wean' myself from the oxy first, but immediately went into bad withdrawal. It was hell for about 1 week, and then got frustrated, and took off the patch as well. On day 2, I was so sick, I went to my pain Dr., and he immediately hospitalized me. They even had me on a heart monitor. Every Dr. I saw told me that it was not the right thing to do-go cold turkey. I knew that, but didn't want to keep dinking around. I spent 5 unbelievable days in the hospital, with all the expected withdrawal symptoms. Before leaving, my Dr. put me on Suboxone, and I felt like a new woman! It's been a month now, and I'm still taking 4mg in am and 4mg at pm. Tonight, I started to wean down and only took 1 at bedtime. I'm still dealing with the kidney stones, in fact saw my urologist today, and was told there were 2 small ones in the left kidney, and a large one in the r. He ordered a CT of abdomen/pelvic next week. My fear and not understanding how suboxone will work, if I have a kidney stone attack and need pain meds. My daughter-who has a Bachelor's in Psy., told me to talk to my Dr. about changing over to Subotex. I see him next week, too.
What I really want to say, is this: Whether you have an addiction to drugs because of misuse, or a physical addiction-like me, I am a walking example that it can be done. No, it wasn't easy, in fact it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. :dizzy:But for me, I felt like I was in bondage, and that the drugs I took, even though justified, had a hold on me. If it wasn't for the Lord, and my family who encouraged, supported and loved me through this, I probably would have given in. If you are serious about becoming drug free, my advice is this: First find a good pain management Dr. to work with. Discuss all your concerns with him. Know that he will be there for you. Share with your family/friends-people you can trust to be there for you, as [B]support, and encouragement, and understanding[B] is absolutely vital! Be patient with yourself, ask your family[/B][/B] and spouse to be understanding as well. And, PRAY! Believe that this can be done-and it will! ;)
I just wanted to share "my story" with you, as maybe it will offer hope for even 1 person! ~lexiegram~





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