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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Good Morning~

Emsmom, BEACHES!!! Oh.... what I wouldn't do to be on a hot beach somewhere right about now. North Carolina I have heard is a beautiful place. Plus, if you ever read any Nicholas Sparks books (I'm a sap) they are all based in North Carolina where he and his family live. It always sounds so amazing every time I read one. Thank you again for everything you said. You always have a way of making me feel like a million bucks! Thank you for that. You have such a kind heart and have helped me in more ways than you will ever know.

So..... today....... What can I say. To be completely honest with you guys has started out really HARD! I had dreams last night of using and in my dream I had an endless supply of pills. I remember taking some in my dreams and I remember feeling high but as soon as i felt that feeling BAM I was awake.... Sweating and breathing really heavy. I swear it gave me so much anxiety.... and has spurred on endless cravings so far today. So, here is what I did. I got up, took a HOT shower, got ready for work and here I am. Now, I am at work, things are stressful here and my mind is racing... So, what I did was I took a klonopin for my anxiety... I have not taken one in so long but honestly, it was a smart move for me. Luckily, I have never abused anti-anxiety medications as they are just not my thing.. I am addicted to the energy feeling of pain pills not the sleepy tired feeling anti-anxiety meds give me. So... now I am going to gather myself. Just writing here helps. That is why I came here first! Now, I am going to eat an orange and dig into some paper work around here.

Thanks again for letting me always come and just spill everything onto this board that is on my mind.....

HEY.... ONE GOOD THING.... K... I will not end this post on a bad note.... SO I have mentioned before that my Dad has been living with us in our 800 sq foot house with his German Shepard for going on 7 months now.... Okay... we have some changes coming!!! Due to my severe Dog Allergies that have occured since "they" moved in... Dad's dog (whom I love like a sibling) is going back to Dad's house and my Step-Moms house. They are in counseling and are trying to work things out. It sounds like Dad's re-move in to his own home will be by the end of FEB. I love my father as much as anyone could love their Dad but the hubby and I really need our space back.... BADLY! Try having a baby with your FATHER in the house..... it makes me want to take a bath in bleach and scrub all my skin off!! hahahha Okay.. that is enough from me for now!!!

Thanks guys!

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