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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Well the nap didn't happen. Or eating. The second I laid down my legs started feeling restless again and I was afraid the pain would start again, so I got up and took another bath. I am at about 5-7 baths a day. As for eating, ugh, just the thought makes me sick. I am keeping fluids down though. I just called my mom to let her know how I am holding up and she offered to bring me over a chocolate milkshake for my stomach and it doesn't sound bad except I have been having cold flashes, so maybe I will drink it in a hot bath haha
It seems though that a bath can be good or bad for me. At times it really relieves the leg cramps and at times it seems to make them worse. Maybe I am running them too hot, I don't know. Or maybe I am taking them too often. I can be almost out of pain but knowing it will come back, I panic and take a bath. Maybe I should wait until I am in pain before taking one. Also if I turn on the jets it seems sometimes to help beating on my legs and back, but sometimes it seems the water pressure makes them feel worse.
I am alone today for the first time since my cold turkey quit, my husband is at work and my boys are in school. So it's making for a LONG day. And I want nothing more than to sleep it away but I can't sleep. I could take another sleeping pill but I won't. I am only taking them as prescribed at night until I am through this. Because even though Lunesta says it's not habit forming, all pills scare me anymore. I have been through so much in my 36 years of life, alot of painful situations, the birth of 4 sons, the loss in 1999 of my 7 month old son to interstitial pneumonia, so I have faced and dealt with emotional pain and physical, and in no way am I belittling the loss of my son, but physically this has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I am so proud of myself though to have made it this far.
I am also so very grateful for an outlet of my feelings here and for my parents, husband, and my children for being so supportive of me through all this. I find myself crying often when reading posts of people who don't have that type of moral support. If someone doesn't it's okay though. I know you're all strong enough to beat any form of addiction you have. I just remind myself every second, minute, hour, day that once I am through this withdrawal, I can finally be free. Free to be my true self and live my life to the fullest.
I just really wish I could sleep. I am so tired and my body feels as if it weighs 5000 pounds when I move. But it is getting better. My legs haven't been hurting as bad as they did the first 2 days. And I have been fortunate enough to have only had the cold shivers, and body/leg aches. My legs have been the hardest for me. But I haven't had nausia except when I take ibuprofin on an empty stomach, and no diarrhea at all.
I am going to beat this and I will finally be vicodin free, but for now it's still very hard going, and I am glad this board is here to come to when feeling down and miserable, and just let it off my chest.
Now I wait for my boys to get home because they offered me a nice foot massage after school. Which is so sweet and will feel like a bit of heavem.
Thank you everyone for just being here to listen and to offer a friendly, caring ear.

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