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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Hi there!
First of all - WAY TO GO! You have come so far and have SO much to be proud of. You are closer than you ever have been - so do it right, and don't give up. You are almost there.
I have never abused narcotics, but came out of five months in the hospital heavily dependent on Morphine, Oxycontin and Ativan. I had never as much as knew the names of those things prior. I was on them for five months AFTER I got out and decided that I needed to get myself off because the side effects were confusing with my disease symptoms. I did most of it myself at home over about three months - following a taper program. I got down to the last week and literally went out of my mind with pain and withdrawal. So I checked myself into the hospital. When I checked in I had gotten myself so close that all of my blood work came back negative - no show for any drugs whatsoever. But I was in terrible withdrawal. The doctor in charge is the only one in our area that is certified in Suboxone and is actually one of the first docs ever to use it. He's pretty old and has committed his life to this effort. Really an amazing man. To make this story as short as possible.
Follow the taper to the letter of the law!!!!!!!!! I did a week of 2mg pills and then tapered so slowly I got down to 1/4 of a 2mg pill (yes, you can break it into crumbs) every other day. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. At times it seems ridiculous, but your body needs it. I went through this process with two other women that were in identical stories. One of them did not follow and she had way more trouble. The other women and I did the exact same thing and we kept in email contact for months and our bodies did the exact same thing. It was almost weird how similar things were. If you want the exact time frames that things took, I can go back through my records. I kept a journal of the whole process. What I do want to tell you is that even once I got down to nothing - took the last 1/4 a pill and was done - it was a GOOD couple of months before I was feeling like I could do this. The hype with suboxone is that it makes withdrawal so much easier - but the fact remains that when you finally stop - YOU STILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT. So be prepared. It's not as bad as coming off everything else - but it's still tough. But tapering makes it MUCH easier. I know you are impatient and want to get over it. I remember feeling like - why am I prolonging this. And wanting to just STOP, but I was watching the other women do that and she had lots more trouble.
The only other thing I will say is that even when you think things are over - it's been two months since your last pill - all of a sudden things will creep back and you will have a tough day. It just happens. And then, before you even realize it, you never have it again. I am still really sick with my diseases, but I REFUSE narcotics even when I am in the hospital. I will never put myself through that horror again. It's by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
I wish you the best of luck. Please feel free to ask my any questions you like. I would have done anything to have this resource when I was going through that, but did not have the strength to even look.

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