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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

Good Morning All,

I am new to these boards! My story is very similer to many of yours. I have been married to my husband for almost 8 years and we have been together of almost 11. When I first met and married him he loved life and he loved me. Although he had issues in his past of both sexual and physical abuse he seemed to have the under control. He mentioned a stint in his teenage years with cocaine but said he was done. Boy was he wrong. About 2.5 years after we married I discovered he was back intot he coke. He promised me he would stop and he could control it...... I beleived him :eek: Again about 7 months later he was back into it :mad: This time he said he would at least seek counselling, well that last for about 3 months:( I like a fool believed it was over.:o He then replace coke with pot and used it the same way he would have cocaine, needed it the same way. I made all of the excuses to family and friends. "he uses pot for the spasms, it means I don't get kicked at night. The effects of his CP are calmed by the use of POT":nono:

Now about 19 days ago I walked out, he has now been 19 days clean and continues to go to NA meetings, this is the first time. I however am not able to bring myself to go back home, not yet.

I am having an issue with trying to believe that the 900 miles an hour that he is going and making changes that I am finding difficult to believe it will stick or that it is real.

I feel bad because he needs my support and love. Having said that so do and I believe he is trying, trying so hard that it is overwhelming and scary. How do you believe someone who has lied to you for so long?? How do you learn to trust him again?

I am hoping to find the help I need here. I have been to an AL-ANON meeting but I found it to be very male bashing and un supportive. There are no NAR-ANON meetings in this area and the closest one is 45 min away. Hi NA group has invited me to attend with him and I have. However because they are all addicts and I am not I do not feel I am able to speak or share there. Maybe I will learn in time.

Thanks for listenting

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