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just PLEASE be very very careful in what you are doing again there CP or this whole cycle of surgeries and the NEED for any level of narcotics after what you just went thru, could very easily occur again? the one really hard thing as we do age or in my case suffer injuries to certain areas(and age,lol), we simply HAVE TO realize our 'new' limitations and accept them and learn to deal with them or work around them, or we WILL suffer the consequecnces and it can ALWAYS get worse than you could ever possibly imagine too.

i was a ff/emt for many years before my whole life got turned upside down from first finding out i had herniated a c spine disc and needed an MRI done on it to see how bad it was? this was in 2001, life, still normal, except on lt duty. but on my lil MRI, it showed a glob of blood vessels sitting right IN the left side towards the freaking middle of my spinal cord that i had actually just been born with that had actually even bled at least once(but no one told ME that til i actually found an NS who had over 30 years of exp working at the U of MN. also my 3rd opinion?)? did NOT see that one comin at all. after undergoing my needed decomp fusion, and the NS i was seeing pretty much downplaying the overall impact of the glob even being where it was(the bigger problem is this NS simply had NOT yet seen enough patients with what i had to even BEGIN to have correct info?). i just assumed i would heal from my surgery and get back on the trucks and my rig again and continue on. no freaking way.

also BECAUSE of the jobs i did for so may years that all pretty much involved using ME as in having to physically 'do" things all the time every day, and me thinking i was actually 'helping 'me' to stay in shape and just staying strong, since i was only 5'2" and bout 115 but could lift way more than i wieghed back then, what i was actually doing to my body was trashing like all my freaking joints and creating alot of real underlying damage i had no clue about either til after my needed resection of my glob surgery up at the U of Mn here was done and i landed in a good rehab facility that regained my leg and some of my fine motor muscle i lost when certain areas were just going to be hit since they were in the way? i was told this pre op which of course made this decision a torture for two weeks. besides being so completly 'humbled' by that freaking surgery, but i STILL thought i could get ME back, and merely work around my fine motor losses in my left hand? but that is whern allll the other damage also started to show itself too with having to have another c spine surgery even before my resection was done, then after that, first my knees needed two seperate surgeries then i devleoped a brain annie that needed to be coiled, than right after that, my rotator tendon that runs across the very top from neck to top of shoulder and the MOST commonly torn just snapped right in half one day. all led to other surgeries too that has now left me in very severe and excruciating pain(two particular pain syndromes "gifted" to me by my level of SCI do NOT in any way shape or form even remotely respond to any narcotics whatesoever either,and those, i simply have to suck up every freaking day now) and had to go onto an LA form of narcotics that after well over fifteen years of non use of this crap that practically destroyed my life, HAD to be utilized just so i could actually even move my neck,and many other body parts in the morning?

this has all really been a sick ride thru hell for me with my entire life no soo totally different than what it had been and after everything i simply went thru to NOT use narcotics now down the tubes too? but i AM in a good pain clinic with both my primary who i have had for over 20 years well aware of my situation as well as of course my PM clinic too? but i am very heavily monitored and as with anyone who is in PM care, had to sign a contract witht them that allows them to force me to do the standard UAs even if they call me over the phone, i have to be there within 24 hours and also the random pill counts, which honestly i do not mind and for ME is most needed to just let ME know that above everything else, i have to, need to stay fully and totally conpliant no matter what my pain feels like? i am limited to ONLY that days meds no matter what, or I WILL pay the bigger price in ever being able to just get my very out of control pain ever treated anywhere.

sorry for the long story there CP, but after reading that you ARE and have gone back to actually even doing what was the MAIN cause of sooo many surgeries(you stated right in your original post that ALLL of your many suregeries WERE from lifting wieghts?) because you did NOT head the warning signs after even the very first or second surgery(the signs WERE there, we just sometimes "choose" not to head them then WE do pay that heavy price for it leter), you so very easily hon could end up right back where you were, again CP seriously. our bodies can only take so much then they give and believe me DO very much tell us in no uncertain terms, you ARE injured and should be 'done" with what generated that hell in the very first place even? trust me when i say you do NOT want to end up where i am or many other people end up cuz we "think' we are still 20 and our bodies will simply 'blow it off' and we will be able to go back there again after some down/healing time occurs? it does not work that way after a certain period of time and age enters the picture?

i am 'only' 49 years old with the body of an 80 year old right now. too much wear and tear and on areas i KNEW were getting bad, like my knees with repeated pain and swelling, but still kept on going on and using and abusing my body parts anyways til one day my body parts, kind of one by one simply TOLD me sooo completely, are ya stupid? i do not know how old you are right now CP, but i can tell you right now, if you do keep up what is abusing that area of your back that you already HAVE to know at this point simply IS a highly vulnerable area, you will screw things up again. its just the 'only so much' that our bodies will even allow us to take before IT steps in and shuts us down for good after repeated injury simply takes its toll on any given area. you just do NOT want to go there CP, not by a long shot. so maybe its time to find another "way" to get what you get out of lifting??? just a huge suggestion from someone who does NOT want to see you crippled up BECAUSE you simply had a choice and chose not to stop doing what you just already know has already created absolute hell for you, not to mention the addiction aspects here?trust me hon, even TRYING to find good solid pain management once you have suffered a documented addiction is NOT an easy task no matter what any PM may want to try and use either, even without the use of narcotics? its taking you on as an actual patient at all in some cases? its just that for right now CP, you simply DO have that choice. you may NOT have that option if you should either end up injuring that very same area, or the other areas that have also been succummbing to this ongoing stress and strain start to show themselves for you too? then that choice simply gets made FOR you hon. and thats is.

my rotator cuff ijury was actually started WHILE lifting wieghts to get in shape for my FD agility t6est? i lifted one day and felt this really horrid burn in what was somewhere around my shoulder? i did not realize it back then, but according to my ortho, that one LIFT IS what actually started my initial supraspinatus tear in my rotator cuff which anytime i lifted anything really heavy, just kept a tearing teeny bits at a time til it simply gave out and fully snapped back in 07? did NOT have a freaking clue things were even THAT bad til my MRI showed TONS of wear and tear damage and alot of shredded crap in there.

the one other area among a few that just DOES take impact whenver we are lifting wieghts,and anything heavy actually IS very much that rotator cuff area. that shoulder joint is simply amazing in what it CAN even do with the high mobility/abilities it has to actually even move the way it does? but the many muscles and tendons and ligaments and that ball and socket joint up there, those ALL have to be working 'right' and be healthy in order for us to even do all the possible ROMS it just is even capable of too.

like i mentioned above CP, i do not know how old you are, but things do take their toll on our bodies the more we allow it to saimply be abused in certain ways? and all those many little 'injuries" that we used to be able to actually just blow off when we wweere even in our teens and twenties?? they DO come back to haunt us as we age? i felt like every single stupid thing i ever did and blew off while i played alot of sports(softball was my love but also casued me a ton of real injuries too over the many many years i simply played it) back in my 'earlier' days, that allll seemed to start "showing themselves" in certain ways at age 30? then at 40, everything just started to fall apart in my body. and from there it has been surgery after surgery and a nightmare of after cord injury crap too.

sorry for the 'book" here CP and anyone else reading this, but man do we EVER NEED to really seriously 'protect' what we actually still DO have the abilities to do cuz anything we DO in some cases(and this most certainly DOES include addiction), has a huge a$$ price tag attatched to it at certain points. thats really what i am trying to tell you, but really needed you to hear how this all can just so completely 'kill' your life as you once knew it if certain things just continue that we already know are 'bad areas" already once injured? you seriously do NOT want to end up anywhere NEAR like me. it sucks more than i could even put into words to wake up in THIS newer body after ME always being totally in shape, strong, independant and being able to just even HAVE the choices to simply even DO what I either wanted to do needed to do for my family or simply 'felt' like doing before this all hit the fan? its all "dictated" to me now by what my body even CAN do on any given day, and that ungodly pain too. just DO seriously think about things in the grander scheme of the bigger picture here CP. set your real needed priorities right now an go from there.

i just really felt i needed to tell you this after you mentioned you were back at doing what seriously created the original problems in the very first place? just DO seriously think about what i said CP, or things CAN always get worse than you could ever imagine. i only took the last two hours(my typing as you can see was seriously impacted by my SCI)becasue i do NOT want to hear that you ended up hurting yourself soo badly that you may never ever have your own life back the way it was again? we DO tend to take for granted having a healthy body or assume that nothing will ever actually happen to 'us" of course til it does. just be very very careful CP. and make the best possible 'choices' for YOUR situation while you still actually have that wonderful ability to even do so, K? life simply CAN totally change for us in a friggin heartbeat, and in many cases, we do NOT even see it commin. it just 'happens" and we are left to pick up the pieces, and do NOT have any real choices and try and move on from there? good luck CP, marcia





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