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Hi everyone. I need some advice about my detoxing. First, a quick back ground on my 4 year battle with pain and pills.

I was given vicodin after my last c-section. Took it as prescribed. 12 days later I woke up feeling like I had the flu, really bad. And when I say the "flu", it was the extreme body aches and nausa. When the pain from the c-section kicked in, I took a pill. Not only did it help the pain from the c-section, I didn't feel flu sick anymore. Over the next couple weeks, the flu feeling came back everyday. So now the c-section pain was gone but I was having chronic pain everyday so I needed to take the vicodin to stop the pain. And at this point, the little feel good that I got from taking the vicodin like in the first week has been long gone so I knew I wasn't taking it to get high, just needed to get rid of the pain so I could function like a normal mom and wife.

So through the next year, I went to doctor after doctor, got test after test, trying to figure out why I was healthy one day and woke up sick the next. I got all kind of possible diagnoses but the one that all the doctors agreed on was Fibromyalgia. I couldn't come to grips that I was going to be in constant pain my whole life, at the age of 30. I was given meds for the fibro but they never helped with the pain. The only thing that help were pain meds. So I took them whenever I needed them and how ever many I needed to get rid of the pain and get up and get through the day pain free. My body metabolized the pain meds so fast that I went from taking 4 vicodins a day in the very begining to wearing 2 100mcg/hr fentanyl patched at one time, putting a new one on EVERYDAY, on top of my 80mg oxycotin ( 6-8 a day ) plus my percocet   for my breakthrough pain ( about 10 a day ) and the liquid oxy 20-40mg at a time when I had it. And throw a 12 pack of beer in a day to help with the pain. And i was still in pain! People couldnt believe i was functioning all day.

So that was were I was 14 days ago. A couple of months ago I started thinking, what if I'm not sick. What if way back 4 years ago when I started feeling " the flu ", I was starting to have w/d from the vicodin. So after talking with my husband we figured the only way to get the answer is to take the drugs away. And I did. On sept 24th, I took of my last patch , my last oxycotin and on the 25th I took my last 10mg of liquid of oxy because the pain was so bad. Then hell started in the middle of the night! The vomiting, even from just taking a sip of water, not being able to keep my legs or arms still, the burning in the muscles, not sleeping ect ect. After 4 days of this my hubby called the doctor to see what he could give me to help. He was worried that I was getting to dehydrated because I couldn't keep anything down. So lucky me, I got blood pressure meds, Ativan and VICODIN to help with the pain and nausa!!!!!! My choice was either take the vicodin to help with the nausa so I could keep stuff down or go to the hospital. I chose the vicodin cuz lord only knows what they would have given me in the hospital.

So here I sit, wondering. Was the hell of the hardcore w/d for nothing because now I take the vicodin? I am still w/d'ing from the other drugs or am I now feeling the w/d symptoms from the vicodin? At first I was taking one 7.5 every 4 hours. Then I bumped it to one every 6 hours which was hell pain wise. My last time stretch was 12 hours. I am just really mad at this point. My pain is still there but what is it coming from? Fibro? I really don't think so. I think without knowing it, I became an addict. Not mentally thank god just physically. I still have 3 patches, liquid and oxycotin here and I could care less. Not even an urge to go take it. I kept them on hand in case the w/d was to bad and i couldn't do it without being in a hospital. So those are going today. I was strong enough to do it but then here came the vicodin. Did I cheat? Did I set myself all the way back?  And now knowing the hell of w/d, I am scared to just stop the vicodin CT. But tapering seems to prolong the agoney of the physical pain. I just don't know what to do. AND I am so mad, why didn't one doctor that I went to say you maybe having w/d! I would have stopped 4 years ago. I really would love to get some input from you all, what would you do? Sorry that my first post was so long! Thank you for reading and listening.

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