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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Addiction & Recovery Board Index

First, I have been on tylenol 3/tylenol 4 for the last three (or more) years. I am not physically addicted. I think this is because I usually only have it for two or three weeks and then it is gone and I have to wait a week or two for my refill. I have it due to a back condition that I have. When it is gone, I do crave it as I wait for my next refill. Twice (a while ago), I had some drug seeking behavior where I went to the dr. for more, but caught myself and realized what I was doing and stopped that behavior. Now, I have been put on percocet. For years, I had in my medical record that I was allergic to it, because I never wanted to take it. My mother who had the same back condition that I now have, had four surgeries, became addicted to vicodin and percocet, dr. shopped, was removed from pain management clinics and finally died of an overdose of tramadol and flexiril. I am scared to death that will happen to me. I know the tylenol is safer than the percocet when it comes to addiction. I do need the pain relief, I have two three year olds and an active job, but I fear oxycodone. I also want it and its not just for pain relief but after I first took it, I noticed the euphoric feelings. I never have before. I have had multiple surgeries over the last 10 years and have been on percocet and vicodin. I never abused it and always had plenty remaining. It's like a switch has been thrown and I am now abusing it. I have only been on the percocet two months. Does anyone know of anyway that I can make sure not to abuse the drug? I have been reading up on drug abuse and I see the signs. I just know that I am playing with fire. I tried asking my husband to hold it and only give me three a day and take it to work with him. He just kept it on his desk downstairs where I was able to easily get it. Another thing I tried is hiding it in his car so that when he goes to work, I don't have it. That works pretty good except that he works from home a lot and then there are the weekends. Maybe I should just email my dr. and tell her to take me off the percocet and stick with the tylenol 4. T4 does cause some euphoria, but not much as your body has to convert the codeine into morphine and the more you take the less your body will convert over time, so it doesn't have a really high abuse potential for me. Still, I also keep those in my husband's car just in case. I just don't know if I have the courage to request to be taken off the percocet and if I did, I guess I will have to have the surgery on my back and hope for the best. I just feel that is what started my mother on her demise.

I have never really had a substance abuse problem although my mother was also addicted to alcohol. I had a brief period where I abused alcohol, but I actually stopped by reading a book. It made me see I felt so unhappy about my life that I was using the alcohol to numb myself and it only made things worse. The same with the percocet, I am unhappy with my life and it lifts my mood. Deep down inside, I know that things are not that bad in my life, but if I continue down this path, I will ruin everything and really have a reason to escape from life.

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