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Re: Second Go
Jan 19, 2011
Lol, you really do resonate with me, maybe because i relate to some of what you've described in your friends, music, lifestyle, etc. On a totally side note, isn't it cool that this huge world is now so much smaller & more accessible?! And no, I don't "blame canada"--least not anymore hehehe. I knew going into this that the odds were long that I would need to take opiates for this ankle again at some point--just for surgery and whatnot. Was even told that by the very pain mgmt doc who so eagerly put me on the rapid detox and sent me packing from the practice. What I didn't expect was to have a problem so soon.

But I AM NOT THROWING IN THE TOWEL OR THINKING I'VE FAILED AT THIS! We had an ice storm, I have a shitty ankle, is what it is. And in looking back at all I went through mentally over that 1/2 pill, I am actually proud of myself. There were soooo many other routes to getting pills, legal routes most of all, that would have offered me more of them, stronger of them, etc. I hated to have to take in any after this struggle so far, but I CHOSE to take as very little as I could, and your assessment is right. I haven't had any new cravings, nor increase in withdrawal symptoms.

I will admit this, only to you (and the millions who read these posts lmao)--I was and have been a toker for a long time. That was never my prob--neither that nor any other stuff but opiates. Could toke every day, then it'd dry up and go months that way. In fact, for years of this ankle thing, that's what I'd do to relieve the pain when it occurred, no probs. I did toke twice in the last couple weeks, very small amounts, with a friend. I don't have any around, don't keep it around at the moment. But I can say, FOR ME, it so greatly helped me with the bad symptoms those 2 times recently, and I was able to not only eat & keep it down, but also to go to sleep w/o any Klonapin. To me, natural things have always been preferred to chemically processed stuff. And, as we all know each of us is different, I know that my demon is opiates. Proof's in the pudding, as they say.

I'm very proud of you and what you're now going through these past couple days and those to come. We both know the difference between having some level of opiate in the system, and none at all. And I am thankful to have found a place where even the most unseemly of topics (think we both know what we're talking here) aren't off the table. We both deal with them, we ALL, all of us opiate addicts, go through them. I am still kinda amazed at myself that I do so much talking on here--despite being a girl, I'm usually pretty slow to open up on many things, especially ones that involve emotion. But I am doing it, and it's helping, you and the boards are helping more than you could know, I only hope reading my garb might be in someway helpful to you, and as many others as might also do so. And to compare where I am now to where I was when I started this process over 2 weeks ago, what a lucky gal I am! As always, THANK YOU :)
Re: Second Go
Feb 5, 2011
Thank you Ravensgirl. I am in a better mood today. I think all that rain yesterday got to me. I am running low on my meds so I am going to cut down some. That is really when I have to cut down. lol. I was reading something second go wrote about being corrupted by the opiates and I really think he is right. It is almost like there is life before and life after. Sounds crazy don't it? Second go, fibromyalgia is awful. There is a lot of body aches but the worst part for me is the chronic fatigue. You feel like you could sleep 20 hours and still need another 8. You do have a lot of depression and anxiety with it also. I have never been one to be depressed but this stuff gets you down. Also, I am not sure if my depression is from some of my personal problems too. I just know that I hate being tired.

Tell your friend to find a good psychiatrist and also a pcp (primary care physician). He will refer her to an arthritis doctor who can help with the fibromyalgia. I think fibromyalgia is such a combination of things and it affects each person differently.

Second go, keep running. Running or any kind of aerobic exercise is good for the natural endorphins (pain relievers). It almost mimics the oxys. well not necessarily in the same way.

you guys have been great to talk to. i love to hear your success stories. second go you are one of the strongest will guys i know and ravensgirl, you also have a lot of willpower cause i know that you are still having trouble with that ankle and it is so easy to just take a pill to feel better. just keep up the faith yall. i am going to get off here and take a short nap and then try to tackle my kitchen. I think my son had a midnight party in there! he has dishes everywhere and tv dinner boxes. He is going to help clean. He just don't know it yet. lol good day yall....

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