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Re: Second Go
Jan 23, 2011
8:40 pm day 6!... im in a great space mentally, im happy ive overcome the tough hump, and ive now got 3 days off.

my body aches at certain points during the day then goes away. but what i struggle with the most is the boredom/depression, i.e. dont feel like doing anything cause before, on a pill everything was fun. although i will say that during the latter part, when my tolerance went up, i was consciously frustrated that i was not feeling that 'carefree' atitude or 'high'. So the spending was making me mad, spending my hard earned money on something ill ingest, then feel nothing (was just more out of habit, and quite honestly i started to make aquaintences w the dealers on the corner) we'd exchange stories and shoot the breeze, while my gf worked her 11 am - 1230 pm shift (one and half hours) on mondays. they are all (well not all) interesting people from junkies trying to sell a broken gps system to morph dealers..they all had stories.

I may go there tommorrow and hang out for a while when she works, but I know i will not regress. I just started to like their company, thats all, and sometimes its courteous to show face so they dont think you OD'd on something they sold you.

i am fully focused on fighting this to the end, i just need a sustitute hobby, which i guess will be music again ...weeed and music!opiates almost took me down twice, and i want to live to be able to tell about it.

plus my gf recorded all the celeb rehabs and interventions which i love watching... im gonna veg out, smoke somethn, and watch my shows. then do some music. my friend also just gave me 3 gigs of music that i need to listen to and sort (my itunes playlists are very organized) that will occupy me too.

i may also have a glass of wine in eve too chill out my nerves...i used to have a glass a night, until i found opiates, and heard you cant mix the two.

Im gonna read some threads then go to bed ppl. Day 7 here I come! woooh i love it

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