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Addiction & Recovery Message Board

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I am a 20 year old female, and I've been taking percocet on and off for the past two years. It started with an injury at work, I had never taken any drugs, and hardly ever drank before my injury. They prescribed me 5/325 mg. percocet for the pain, but I never abused it, and strictly took it only for pain, for the first I'd say, four months. I than moved out of state, and was off the percocet for awhile. When I moved back out to the state I was injured in, I began working my old job and was than injured again, the pain in my back returned and was worse then ever. I was prescribed percocet, the same dose and began taking it, twice a day as directed. Then after me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up, (he cheated on me) I began taking four to five a day, not just for the pain relief, but for the numb feeling it gave me, it took my mind off everything and helped me cope. That's when the addiction, I'd say started. When I was forced to move back to my home state, I began to panic because I had to get off of them, so I started stealing them off my mother, and started seeing a doctor at my homestate when I could no longer sneak them from her anymore (she caught on, and locked them up) he prescribed me 5/500 vicodin and I was taking up to 5 or 6 a day, when I was only supposed to be taking 1 or 2. I began faking more pain, ovarian cysts, tooth pain, getting them off of other people, more and more emergency room visits, urgent care visits. I am so ashamed of myself...I want to get off of these pills, I feel like I want to, but mentally my head loves and craves the feeling these pills give me, I feel like I can't stop. I don't know what to do, my doctor here won't prescribe me any more vicodin, I have no access to anything from anyone else, so I'm at the end of the rope right now. I want to see him, and ask if he can help me taper myself off, but I'm not sure how to even ask, or if he will help me do that. I've done online research and read the horror stories of the withdrawals, body pains, headaches, nausea. I feel like I can overcome that, but it's the depression and the mental part I'm scared of. If anyone could offer some advice, or some words of wisdom, I'm all ears. Thanks for reading.

This is my original post, this was posted almost three months ago. I finally stopped the pills, today is my 3rd day. I had mentally prepared myself for the withdrawals, and I had saved 2 percocets in case my withdrawals got really bad. I am proud to say I have only taken half of a 5/325 milligram percocet! I also have flexeril that I have taken nightly to aid in the insomnia, but to also add that I have never been addicted to the flexeril, so I knew taking it wouldn't become a problem. I haven't had hardly ANY withdrawals, no sweats, no headache, no pains (besides the occasional backache) which I have used a heating pad for. I'm not sure yet if the depression will kick in at all, but I honestly am feeling pretty good. I have had some cravings, and some points where I've been kinda shaky and uneasy, but I have just continually kept telling myself that everything is going to be ok, and that I CAN get through this. I am so sick of counting my pills, and worrying about where and how I'm going to get my next prescription from. Something really clicked in my head, when I went to fill my last prescription, I saw a framed sign right by the pharmacy window that said "It is a felony to obtain narcotics from different doctors, without the doctor's knowledge. My safety and MY LIFE is more important then going to jail over a few hours of euphoria. I am so happy to be on the road to my recovery and getting my life back. To everyone who is reading, and posting just remember, YOU CAN DO IT! You just have to take control of your life, and remember that a week of feeling crappy, is so worth having years and years of happiness! Anyone needing to talk please feel free to post!!! Good luck everyone!

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